benni

dear friends,

hello! it's been so long since we've sat down and had a nice chat! it feels like ages, but of course, that's probably my fault. it always is. the fact of the matter is simply this... i've been busy searching for my soulmate... in sheep form, of course... because i needs to hump me some livestock! there are few things better than gently fisting your beloved sheep while you whisper in her ear how you love the feel of her wool against your... uh...

in OTHER news... *ahem*

went to duluth last night. it felt like being anally raped with some broken, splintery implement, not unlike a broom or baseball bat. it's unreal how much i despise them... and they me. the patrons of the club... fuck. they need a good slap... and maybe vasectomies all around so as not to induce more breeding.

but i'm being too harsh. they just don't like this pale little twitchy tattooed girl.

i flushed that bag of crack dude gave me. i've flushed a lot of things, but nothing so satisfying... that and i sang a little ditty about crack rocks building a sidewalk to the moon as it disappeared down the shitter.

you know what i hate? having squeezy cheeze but no crackers. fuck!

but i luff yooooooooooooooou! coming soon: mutant arm! hopefully he and i will solve mysteries!

hope everyone is taking care, and making poor little barnyard animals their loveslaves.


i love you... with boxcutters and slinkys.