blog post. apparently im benni. fancy script and profile pictures and all.
its growing increasingly colder outside. that whole changing of the seasons thing is creeping up on me. it was bound to happen, as it does every year, but im not ready for it yet. this year flew by me at an alarming pace, even more so than years past, and it feels like... someone left the window open and the wind blew all of my mail and shit off the table and onto the floor, so i bent down to pick it all up, and when i went to put it on the table...?
BAM! hit by a car.
okay, so that made no sense. welcome to my week. a week of nonsensical gibberish and bizarre happenings. i again find myself trying to pick up pieces this week. i just want things to stay in order long enough that i can breathe, but i worry that will never be the case.
...
sometimes i write things that im just not... i just cant...
there are so many things, as always, and as always there are not words for any of them. my heart aches. my world continues to unravel. to coincide with this coming coldest of seasons, the warmth is draining from my heart and i have this feeling like ive been abandoned...
melodramatic, maybe, but every once in awhile i should have the right to throw a tantrum like a petulant child. only problem is im too quiet and too well behaved...
so i can be the soft spoken trash talker, the well received drama queen. eater of flesh, collector of scars, owner of a heart broken a hundred times over...
and a woman who wishes she could sleep without those pictures of you streaming behind closed lids.
wishes she could sleep, period. simple things come harder and harder these days.
who ARE you? i guess i never found out. if i had, maybe i wouldnt have let you in. or maybe i would have. im a sucker for punishment.
enough of the past. tomorrow is a new day...
and i miss my girlfriend.
and because im tired of always being such a downer... watch this. it may quite possibly be the best thing thats ever happened in the world, ever. EVAR.
its growing increasingly colder outside. that whole changing of the seasons thing is creeping up on me. it was bound to happen, as it does every year, but im not ready for it yet. this year flew by me at an alarming pace, even more so than years past, and it feels like... someone left the window open and the wind blew all of my mail and shit off the table and onto the floor, so i bent down to pick it all up, and when i went to put it on the table...?
BAM! hit by a car.
okay, so that made no sense. welcome to my week. a week of nonsensical gibberish and bizarre happenings. i again find myself trying to pick up pieces this week. i just want things to stay in order long enough that i can breathe, but i worry that will never be the case.
...
sometimes i write things that im just not... i just cant...
there are so many things, as always, and as always there are not words for any of them. my heart aches. my world continues to unravel. to coincide with this coming coldest of seasons, the warmth is draining from my heart and i have this feeling like ive been abandoned...
melodramatic, maybe, but every once in awhile i should have the right to throw a tantrum like a petulant child. only problem is im too quiet and too well behaved...
so i can be the soft spoken trash talker, the well received drama queen. eater of flesh, collector of scars, owner of a heart broken a hundred times over...
and a woman who wishes she could sleep without those pictures of you streaming behind closed lids.
wishes she could sleep, period. simple things come harder and harder these days.
who ARE you? i guess i never found out. if i had, maybe i wouldnt have let you in. or maybe i would have. im a sucker for punishment.
enough of the past. tomorrow is a new day...
and i miss my girlfriend.
and because im tired of always being such a downer... watch this. it may quite possibly be the best thing thats ever happened in the world, ever. EVAR.
VIEW 25 of 67 COMMENTS
orchid:
Happy New Year hun! xx
joneequest:
HOT DAMN! "candyass" is back up. Hally-frickin'-looya!