Having hope for the future is tearing me apart. If I could give up I'd be far better off. How do I stop caring and just become numb? I won't kill myself because of the pain it would cause others but I can't go on like this any longer. Tempted to just stop taking my meds, it's not killing myself if I just stop fighting...
Read More
tactileone:
You ok mate? If you need to talk I'll be on for a bit.
I'm still alive. That should be something to be thankful for, but most of the time I spend wishing that any one of the times I almost died didn't have the "almost" in there. I wish I had the energy to be angry at myself for thinking along those lines, but I just don't anymore. I manage to fight it off for awhile, but it's...
Read More
So my insomnia has just been getting worse and worse, though at least I haven't gone the 110+ hours awake that I did at the end of April. I'm hoping that the counselor that I'll soon be seeing will be able to help in some form or fashion, though I know all the regular crap they suggest never works for me. I've tried meditation, relaxation...
Read More
It's been awhile since I posted, and I'm pretty bad about updating things here but I've been feeling really down lately. I'm tired of being alone and not having a relationship. I've dated on and off, but it's almost always been with women who are anywhere from 1-6 hours away from where I live. There's not a lot of chances to meet new people in...
Read More
So, my 17 inch Macbook Pro's hard drive has crashed out on me and it's currently in the shop attempting to recover the data then replace the HD. If my damn WD My Book Live would work as it was supposed to, there would be no risk of data lost since I had set up Time Machine to back up daily. Would have been great...
Read More
Merry Christmas all, hopefully it's a great day for those who celebrate it!
So given my insomnia I'm often up and about all night, and since I live in the middle of nowhere there's usually not much happening. This leads to pleny of TV watching, and often enough I'm watching cartoon network/adult swim. There's a few of their shows that I just don't get, but in general I love everything they air. Like currently I'm high and watching...
Read More
Well, I've just now started poking around the new site and I guess it's OK. Change just takes getting used to, I suppose. Tonight has been a TV night, some great shows...and some I feel dumber for having watched. Whatever this Chriss Angel show that my roommate currently has on just makes me think an aneurism would be required for me to want to watch...
Read More
Things have been improving somewhat of late, I've been talking to some pretty awesome people and that's certainly made things start looking up. My sleep is still erratic and hard to come by at times, but I think it's settling down at least a little. Other than that I suppose it's just all been about making some new, and awesome, friends and spending a lot...
Read More
Read More
euforia:
Thank you for your love! 
The insomnia continues, this is the worst it's been in years...honestly it's the worst it's been ever. I'm going 2-4 days between sleeping, and often enough I only get 3-5 hours when I finally do pass out. I'm trying to do some things to make my life better, but I'm haunted by far too many ghosts. They've cost me far too much already, and all...
Read More
Read More
I've been out of sorts for a long time now, but I'm working on changing that. I've had a rough weekend, and having slept maybe 2 hours total since Friday until about 6 this morning didn't help. I hate my insomnia.
merlowe:
Sleep does a body good..I hope it comes to you soon!