It may no be a big deal for a lot of people, a lot of people will think, "Yeah, and? Loads of girls (and guys) do this sort of thing." But to me, I am totally and utterly over the moon to have had the persuasion and push to do put myself out there...
A lot of people think that girls do stuff like SG for attention, but for most of us (I am talking for myself especially) we do it to get some sort of grip on our own issues. To give ourselves a little bit of encouragement and reassurance, that we are all individually special, unique and beautifully different!
I have to say, if it wasn't for my husband saying "You'd make a great suicide girl, you should do it." (He didn't think I would ever consider it, but always knows how to make me feel amazing.) The seed would never have been sewn, I'd never have Googled the site, I'd never have started following @vorpal on instagram and would never have seen her post about becoming a suicide girl.... and inturn wouldn't be writing this post just now!! I contemplated it for a few weeks, then said to him one day. "You know what, I think I'm gonna do it." He was a bit shocked, but supported my decision. I went about filling in the applications to become a S.G. Model and set up my profile and within a week or so was contacted by @andrealaz to ask if I'd be interested. I was in a state of shock and a little panicked and needless to say, my husband was too. We were both thinking... holy shit... I have to pose naked and lots of people are gonna see it. He was also thinking about how uncomfortable he was at the idea of lots of people seeing his wife naked. But after a few discussions he realised that if this is what it took for me to realise my potential, then he shouldn't step in my way.
Please don't get me wrong and think I am tooting my own horn, I still am incredibly self concious and poke holes in myself, but taking this journey and meeting Andrea and talking to Vorpal has lifted my spirits, improved my confidence and has actually made me start believing in myself. In such a short space of time I have had my eyes opened to so many different events, people, places and the best thing I feel fantastic and so much more happy and content. And on another note, this journey has opened my husbands eyes too. (not that they were ever closed) He doesn't think about how many people might see me nude, he thinks it's wonderful that he gets to be part of this journey, he loves being part of this. The SG community, the gigs, the events, the photo shoots! He is my rock, my support and feels happy and content that we are in this together. We have grown stronger as a couple. I couldn't have done it without him. And of course the beautiful vorpal who I badgered for months, And the amazing talents of Andrea. And definitely not forgetting the amazing members, hopefuls and suicide girls that have and are reading this and following me!! đź’ťđź’•đź’ť
I may have a long time to wait to reach suicide girl status, but in the mean time I am enjoying everything that has come out of this so far: Blackheart Burlesque events, after parties, more photoshoots, meeting some of the girls, getting involved in the amazing groups and threads... thr list can go on...I know I will enjoy the rest too!
Thanks for reading!! đź’‹
