I had a bad day.
I had a very bad day.
Im not gonna explain because its irrelevant.
Except this one thing.
I dont have a fucking clue what Im doing with my life.
Im freshly an 18 year old adult.
I have no job.
I have no boyfriend. I dont think.
Im not going to art school. Even though I was accepted and given a scholarship just based on my portfolio.
Im not pretty enough or perfect enough to be a Suicide Girl.
Im moving to Va Beach in a matter of like 2 weeks.
fuck. I had everything all figured out before...
and all my plans of the future... are destroyed.
Someone mentioned me eventually getting married one day.
I was taken aback. Me...married? to who?
the one person i ever loved tossed me aside and fucked my best friend.
He was who i was gonna marry.
Now, I have noone in this world Id ever think of marrying.
My lifes fallen apart.
Fuck..... things change all to quickly. Im honestly good at nothing but poking holes in people and doodling.
That'll carry me REEEAAALL far.
I hate myself. I hate everything Im about.
But most of all I hate the people who treat me like Im worthless.
Because of them I hate who i am. Because its not good enough.
Listening to Lynard Skynard's Freebird, and crying.
I miss Kyle. I dont care about all the things he did wrong.
I want to lay in his arms forever.
Why doesnt he love me anymore?
....
im pathetic.
and Im alone.
I had a very bad day.
Im not gonna explain because its irrelevant.
Except this one thing.
I dont have a fucking clue what Im doing with my life.
Im freshly an 18 year old adult.
I have no job.
I have no boyfriend. I dont think.
Im not going to art school. Even though I was accepted and given a scholarship just based on my portfolio.
Im not pretty enough or perfect enough to be a Suicide Girl.
Im moving to Va Beach in a matter of like 2 weeks.
fuck. I had everything all figured out before...
and all my plans of the future... are destroyed.
Someone mentioned me eventually getting married one day.
I was taken aback. Me...married? to who?
the one person i ever loved tossed me aside and fucked my best friend.
He was who i was gonna marry.
Now, I have noone in this world Id ever think of marrying.
My lifes fallen apart.
Fuck..... things change all to quickly. Im honestly good at nothing but poking holes in people and doodling.
That'll carry me REEEAAALL far.
I hate myself. I hate everything Im about.
But most of all I hate the people who treat me like Im worthless.
Because of them I hate who i am. Because its not good enough.
Listening to Lynard Skynard's Freebird, and crying.
I miss Kyle. I dont care about all the things he did wrong.
I want to lay in his arms forever.
Why doesnt he love me anymore?
....
im pathetic.
and Im alone.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
i think th world of you, and who knows what the future holds.
dont ever put yourself down like that, it is not becomeing of someone as beautiful asyou.
i may just be a fuck buddie, but, i do care , and i dont like seeing youl ike this.
you can call me any time, and i'll talk to you or just listen if you need.
bekka, you are awesum, and i think you need to realise that.
the first time you are bitten by love it is the deepest.
in time it will get better, and you are a strong , beautiful woman, not a lil girl, so take it a day at a time, and grow from it.
weather or not you realise it i do care about you.
so smile