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bekka_suicide

VA BEACH

Member Since 2006

Followers 94 Following 80

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Monday Jul 31, 2006

Jul 30, 2006
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Why dont I know what I want?
Why dont I know the answers?
Why do I still miss him?
Hes a dick.

Kinda feel shitty right now.
I need a hug.

Some days Im perfectly fine.. I forget about Kyle.
And other days All I can remember is how intensely I felt for him....

I dont know if I want him back.
I kinda just want him to want me back.
To feel less thrown out with the trash...
to have him feel what Ive gone through since he broke my heart.

I dont know if I ever really loved him.
I told him that.
He didnt even care.
I dont know if I did or not.
If I did love him... then I failed at love.
And Im not ready to accept that.

So my philosophy on love remains the same.
It doesnt exist.

Ill never have someone view me as the ultimate human being in their eyes.
Ill never feel irreplacable.
Ill never feel loved.

Long nights of boredom leave you to sit and think.
Think about current situations.. your past... your future...
and it always hurts to look at reality.
I wish I could get drunk and pass out right now.
Instead Ill go read my book, and end up crying myself to sleep.
lonely, and unwanted....
frown
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
afterbirth:
And yeah, we've all been down that path.
Aug 1, 2006
afterbirth:
I know how that feels.
It fuckin sucks ass.
It some of the hardest shit to deal with.

But,
You get over it.
You forget.
You meet new people.
You meet people you can't believe you like so much.
You think "How the hell could I have been so upset about that other girl/guy?"

How old are you?
I'll bet you're not 97.
I'd say younger.
You'll see.
It's hard when you're young and you don't realize what an idiot everyone else is!
Aug 1, 2006

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