beestealer

Ever get those feelings like you just made a really big mistake? One of those ones that only time will tell if the choice has led you down a forest path that looks brighter, but only because the trees ahead thin out and drop away into a north faced cliff that pulls you over the edge with it's promise of a glorious eternity of falling screaming through the abyss with the power of the triumph as if you'd pulled a burning arrow from your breast blistering the skin as it is separated from the wound only to end with the sweet embrace of a howling cackle as your soul is ebbed away with the rushing air offering only death.







Yeah, I think I just did one of those.

Either that or it was the best decision I ever made. Time will tell, then it will be too late. Oh gosh, life's a ball isn't it?

I suppose it's what you make of it, right? You can only say you tried your best and if you didn't you only have yourself to blame and regret is the most horrendous of sins. The one thing this cancer will feed from is retrospect and those histrionics get one nowhere unless one is learning from them to better oneself and one's outlook for the future.



A photon sees all of time as if it had made all of its choices across the whole of time not in an instant, but from beginning to end.



Imagine a ball of twine....... now imagine a skyscraper.... stretch the ball of twine from the front door around every pillar and post... wind it up the stairs and past the lift doors until it reaches the roof....

The front door is the beginning of time... the roof.... the end of times and each floor in between a quanta of time..... a moment of stillness...... The twine is the photon.

Now enter the building yourself.... run to the lift and press every button on the panel..... as you reach each floor hold the door and witness and record the stillness of the moment frozen in time... the lay of the pillars and the relation the twine has to every object in your view....

You see the twine in a different position.... or length.... wrapped around different pillars every time you stop.... each time you are asked to perceive the twine in your own 'moment of time'.... it is totally different with each floor....

But we all know that the twine hasn't changed in it's stretch from the door to the roof.... only you have changed.... your view of it relative to the floors patterns and shapes it makes of it... and your own sense thereof.... of time.....


The photons emitted from the computer screen as you read this in your own moment are existent at the birth of the universe and it's death.


What awesome majesty with live amongst... makes it all seem a little silly really. Not profound or unique or important to anything but my own moment, the only thing worth living for.

So I'll try not to let it get me down too much. I don't have enough time to think about not smiling at myself and stuff and junk......