beestealer

Once again I am let down by my inability to fully represent myself to the opposite sex. Whenever I stand infront of a girl I genuinely fancy my mind seems to crawl out of my ears and send back to my body badly written postcards of flirtations.

The story goes: I see a gorgeous redheaded girl on campus and we both can't take our eyes off each other from across the coffee shop for ages. In the end I finally pluck up the courage (we're already in unfamiliar waters here then - Ed) to walk over to her and talk to her just as I might at a club. It all seems cool, I'm secretly shaking, but I think I get away with it, my nervous excitment meaning I manage a number exchange probably before I should. We go out on the following day and spend the whole night in a local indie bar talking and not even drinking much. The conversation only stopped because we're asked to leave by the staff post closing time, which seems dobbins to me. She seems fairly smooth with it all, so we go to the cinema a couple of days later (saw Sweeny Todd, great movie). We got back fairly early and with hindsight in mind, I probably should have just been a bit more sleazy and invited her home, but I was sober and a little (AKA still) pretty nervy when we were in intimate positions. Then last night I was asked if I was going to a night in town by a few mates that I knew (in a strictly 'are you going' not 'come with us way', I say mates but there more pleasant acquaintances) Redhead would be there, but she hadn't directly asked me to join her, fair enough I thought (I wasn't exactly in the know of her mates and would have felt like a spare wheel). But none of my own friends will go with me, Super Tuesday is more important to the American Studies cru, and nobody else can go out on a school night. I axed her today if she wanted to meet up tomoz or maybe this evening as I hadn't seen her since saturday I wanted to know how last night went, worded much more casually than that.

She's awfully sorry if she led me on ('scoff' - Ed), but she's not looking to start anything. Start anything (!?!), good god, a simple 'sorry mate, you're not my type' is fine. Surly you don't date someone if you're not looking to date someone... gay.

So thats at an average of one girl per two months I pluck up the courage to ask out, with a one in 6 sucess rate of making into a position where a close relationship is a possibility. This is further reduced by the old 'and now I have gotten to know you pitfalls', which reduces this figure by about two thirds. Giving me the chances of a lasting relationship somewhere between Hell freezing over and Derby county winning the Champions League in the next 5 years.

Fucking hell, I need to get laid.

Right pipe dreams of foreign madness aside I think I may have finally decided what I'm going to do ith my degree, assuming I get one.

As power and energy is such a hot topic these days it seems sensible to enter the field. Both E-On and npower offer really great graduate packages with a decent conscience, AKA I really have a passion for getting invloved in green energy solutions and these companies are growing into this market allot quicker than most. I can't go for gold untill next year though, the application deadlines are around early Jan and I just didn't know all the info I do now, then. So I'll be in Brum for another year while I get my driving licence and make applications for 2009 entrance to any training courses. It'll be a nice wind down after my degree I think and an opportunity to live with G-Shock and some close mates for a year. We're looking at houses in Bournville, close to the train station, so that commuting into town is still easy and we can get into Selly Oak for band and social commitments. Secretly I'm much happier things are going to work out this way, I didn't really want to move out of Birmingham and quit all my musical endevours yet and most of my other options were leading that way.

So it's temping post degree for me, just like every none freaky fucker else there ever was to my knowledge. Stil at least I know what I want to do and how to get there these days. All that fumbling around in the dark you have to go through in teenage is so hellish.

Sorry to anyone offended by my nudity the other day, lol. I look weird in the one sans guitar, the camera did something weird to my face. However, I am very grateful of everyone's lovly polite comments, aren't you all so lovely. If you want to see more all you have to do is:

1. Talk to me while I drink a minimum of 3 pints. I should have stopped stammering and started touching you by this point.

2. Enjoy both South Park and Family Guy/American Dad. Previously I may have said if you like The Smiths I'm not for you, I still hate them more than the senseless death of a bag of kittens, but the are seminal and I can cope with others liking them (after all that coucilling, after 'the incident' that it - Ed).

3. Look me in the eye almost to the point of starring during conversation (timid girls are gonna be shit for me, it'd be like watching a really slow car crash) I buzz on other peoples personality. What with being a total mood thief, if you're miserable I'm miserable, if you're bouncing off the walls so am I.

4. Be at leas a size 8/10 and pretty, that last one is essential .

Thats pretty much it. I'm well easy. Does mean though that you guys aren't gonna get to see (all of) me publicly though, SG itself cannot offer me these things directly, lol.

Oh... find me on last.FM as JasonD-S. I know that's a pretty crap screen name, but I just can't be assed to come up with pretentious poetic phrases for the benefit of The Internet anymore, plus this site might have real longevity.