Chapter 1
Everything was shaded in fog. The thick moisture hovering in the air gave the world around him an ethereal quality. Or at least it would to a stranger to this area. Having been born and raised in these Northern woods, the fog was for Avril a matter of course. Long ago he had learned to hunt by sound and as he moved through the small forest this afternoon, he was relying on that sound to keep pace with his target about fifteen feet ahead.
Kayeen was just as adept at tracking prey by sound alone. As he stalked through the woods ahead of his brother he was listening intently to the grey squirrel ahead. He did not have the luxury of simply pacing it. In order to make the close, he had to come into visual range. On a day like today that was about six or seven feet. It was a very difficult thing to do, but he was slowly closing while the grey squirrel cautiously worked its way toward the nuts and berries Kayeen had left in the center of the clearing.
From behind his tree Avril listened to the two of them take off like a shot. The grey squirrel was scampering in fear, and the young man pursuing it with furious determination. Both predator and prey knew this forest well enough to instinctively know when to jump or duck. Although the pursuer was gaining ground as the squirrel scooped up a nut on its way through the clearing, it was not enough and the squirrel shot up the first tree at the same speed with which it ran across the grass. Grabbing the lowest branch, the young man, Kayeen, cursed and then struggled to keep himself upright as he sucked in air. Through his exhaustion the young man searched hard to make out the squirrel above.
Once recovered, Kayeen slowly put himself between the tree the squirrel was in and the only one close enough for the squirrel to jump to. He could hear the squirrel nattering as it tried to discover just where in the fog its pursuer had gone. After taking three slow silent steps back and to his right Kayeen incrementally lowered himself into a crouch. In a whiplash motion his hand reached down, grabbed the stone, and launched towards the sound. The projectile narrowly missed the frightened squirrel and sent it scampering up and out onto one thick branch. As it neared the end of that branch the grey squirrel launched itself towards the tree it instinctively knew was there. As the squirrel was in the air it came into his line of sight and Kayeen muttered under his breath, "cadea". It was as if the squirrel ran into an invisible wall. Crashing to the ground it quivered where it had landed in fear and pain. Shouting triumphantly, the young man arrived at the same spot almost as soon as the squirrel hit the ground. After another pause to catch his breath, Kayeen pulled out a small dagger from his side.
While Kayeen had been intent on the squirrel Avril had worked his way around the clearing and towards the lopsided battle. When he got close enough to see his brother leaning over the squirrel he whispered, "ascundi". The squirrel disappeared. Jerking himself straight, the dagger clenched behind white knuckles, Kayeen started peering into the trees around him. Not being able to see his younger brother, he looked back to the spot where the squirrel had fallen and muttered, "spectaci". The squirrel reappeared.
Waiting for this to happen, Avril immediately said, "sari". In one quick step the squirrel impossibly launched itself from the ground into a branch about six feet up. This move in their little duel caught Kayeen by surprise and he tripped and fell to his hands. He scrambled back up as quickly as he could but it was too late. The squirrel was nowhere in site. As he rubbed the gravel out of his left hand, Kayeen's face contorted with rage and he shouted out, "AVRIL!!!"
Slowly and silently Avril put distance between himself and his brother.
This is the first part of chapter 1.
The full chapter and the prelude are here:
http://docs.google.com/Doc?docid=0Ac-V0ZEvcOPkZGNtOXN3NnBfM2Q1N2h3dmZu&hl=en
Everybody come help me improve this. Feedback, editing, whatever. I've published articles, but all attempts at writing a book have met with rejection and failure. The one I'm working on now... I've got that feeling. Help me get this this one off the ground.
Everything was shaded in fog. The thick moisture hovering in the air gave the world around him an ethereal quality. Or at least it would to a stranger to this area. Having been born and raised in these Northern woods, the fog was for Avril a matter of course. Long ago he had learned to hunt by sound and as he moved through the small forest this afternoon, he was relying on that sound to keep pace with his target about fifteen feet ahead.
Kayeen was just as adept at tracking prey by sound alone. As he stalked through the woods ahead of his brother he was listening intently to the grey squirrel ahead. He did not have the luxury of simply pacing it. In order to make the close, he had to come into visual range. On a day like today that was about six or seven feet. It was a very difficult thing to do, but he was slowly closing while the grey squirrel cautiously worked its way toward the nuts and berries Kayeen had left in the center of the clearing.
From behind his tree Avril listened to the two of them take off like a shot. The grey squirrel was scampering in fear, and the young man pursuing it with furious determination. Both predator and prey knew this forest well enough to instinctively know when to jump or duck. Although the pursuer was gaining ground as the squirrel scooped up a nut on its way through the clearing, it was not enough and the squirrel shot up the first tree at the same speed with which it ran across the grass. Grabbing the lowest branch, the young man, Kayeen, cursed and then struggled to keep himself upright as he sucked in air. Through his exhaustion the young man searched hard to make out the squirrel above.
Once recovered, Kayeen slowly put himself between the tree the squirrel was in and the only one close enough for the squirrel to jump to. He could hear the squirrel nattering as it tried to discover just where in the fog its pursuer had gone. After taking three slow silent steps back and to his right Kayeen incrementally lowered himself into a crouch. In a whiplash motion his hand reached down, grabbed the stone, and launched towards the sound. The projectile narrowly missed the frightened squirrel and sent it scampering up and out onto one thick branch. As it neared the end of that branch the grey squirrel launched itself towards the tree it instinctively knew was there. As the squirrel was in the air it came into his line of sight and Kayeen muttered under his breath, "cadea". It was as if the squirrel ran into an invisible wall. Crashing to the ground it quivered where it had landed in fear and pain. Shouting triumphantly, the young man arrived at the same spot almost as soon as the squirrel hit the ground. After another pause to catch his breath, Kayeen pulled out a small dagger from his side.
While Kayeen had been intent on the squirrel Avril had worked his way around the clearing and towards the lopsided battle. When he got close enough to see his brother leaning over the squirrel he whispered, "ascundi". The squirrel disappeared. Jerking himself straight, the dagger clenched behind white knuckles, Kayeen started peering into the trees around him. Not being able to see his younger brother, he looked back to the spot where the squirrel had fallen and muttered, "spectaci". The squirrel reappeared.
Waiting for this to happen, Avril immediately said, "sari". In one quick step the squirrel impossibly launched itself from the ground into a branch about six feet up. This move in their little duel caught Kayeen by surprise and he tripped and fell to his hands. He scrambled back up as quickly as he could but it was too late. The squirrel was nowhere in site. As he rubbed the gravel out of his left hand, Kayeen's face contorted with rage and he shouted out, "AVRIL!!!"
Slowly and silently Avril put distance between himself and his brother.
This is the first part of chapter 1.
The full chapter and the prelude are here:
http://docs.google.com/Doc?docid=0Ac-V0ZEvcOPkZGNtOXN3NnBfM2Q1N2h3dmZu&hl=en
Everybody come help me improve this. Feedback, editing, whatever. I've published articles, but all attempts at writing a book have met with rejection and failure. The one I'm working on now... I've got that feeling. Help me get this this one off the ground.
tevyn:
awhh. thank you honey, i hope so!