bee

hellooOoOo

i went for an adventure the other day. i went walkin around town just for the hell of it. to think. i thought it to be funny cuz i took my kitties for a walk...i got them harnesses. They look so funny in them. Kamaji hates hizZz but lil lady loves hers. I ended up having to carry big ol kamaji around. He izZz the bestest KITTEN ever. Well not when I am trying to sleep at night. He izZz a night owl kitty. Lil lady has been doing really well, she likes a few other people now other than me now. Vary odd for her. She only liked me for such a long time.well she did love cherry more than me, when cherry was visiting. That was the best. I just love spending time with them and cuddling them and playing around the park with them. They are just so rad. So after they were all worn out and sleepy I took um home and I went for more of a walkI found ghandi every place I went. Even a thrift store. I want a record player so badly and a radio. I dont have a radio anymore. This makes me so sad. But its cool. I have one in my car.

So my cuz got into a huge car wreck and almost died. She went into a 6 hour surgery to release fluid in her lung that had gathered from impact. She fell asleep while drivin home late from work. She works at Disneyland. She had been working over time for the holidayzZz and fuckin paid for it. I picked her up on Sunday from the hospital that we were both born in. was interesting having to see family off and on when I would drive out to see her during her recovery. Its just so wonderful to see her awake and joking with me. I was so freaked out when she was hurt. Made life really angry for me. She izZz three months younger than me. While growin up I would always stay with her family off and on. Her dad even wanted to adopt me once. I just feel so close to her. Though she has done things I dont agree with I respect her and her life and her choices. Because I love that girl unconditionally for the rest of my life. But she will be all better sooner than later.

Also I have been spending a lot of time alone these days. I am enjoying it. I needed it. There have been a lot of issues in my life that I have just kinda swept under the rug to work on life and succeed in areas I see freeing. But I realize now that I have been doing the wrong thing by just not dealing. Dealing will help. It has. I just feel like if I cant help yself how can I help those around me. So I am working on myself. I feel its about time I do. I have so much to learn. And I have learned so much I need to process it.

I am falling in love. I love some one. But I cant say it just yet. I care to just feel for a long while. Cuz I need to focus on loving me well before I can love another. I am goin be my own sugar mama. Hehehe. If thats possible. I do love myself, I just want to be better at it. bEein a perfectionist can make projects last a bit longer than planed but at least I do it right.

I need shroom tea and Seinfeld seasons on dvd. Any one wanna burn it for me? If you have it. I would love you forever. I want to slip away into shroom ville and paint.