First of all, a happy, happy, happy birthday to one of the world's great treasures, Severus. Please say hi to her. She's one of the greatest people on the planet.
Now, on the our regularly scheduled update:
I'm afraid of dogs.
I know that makes me a sissy, but I'm afraid of big dogs. I know where it comes from, I used to spend my summers in hicksville, NJ where dogs were used for one thing-to attack people who were anywhere near your property. I have been chased, hospitalized, traumatized and terrorized by dogs and now I'm afraid of them.
I'm not afraid to admit it.
So this past Sunday I was unwinding a bit by going for a walk in the woods in a big park by my house. It's my favorite thing to do because I can walk for an hour without seeing a single person. I'm not afraid of people. I just don't like them.
So I'm listening to the Yankees lose and walking through the woods when all of a sudden I see my worst nightmare-a Rotwieller RACING towards me barking ferociously. I panic, of course, and RUN. I run to the river and there's nowhere to go but INTO the water. So instead I jump up and hang onto a tree branch overhanging the river. I'm hanging from the branch with the dog 3 feet from me foaming at the mouth when I hear "hey boy" from somewhere in the woods.
"Hey, wanna come take care of your dog?" I yell, hanging from the branch.
"He doesn't bite," the voice responds. I look at the dog growling and baring it's teeth like I'm a giant side of meat hanging from a hook.
"Yeah, I've heard that before." I yell back. "come get your dog!"
"I'm gonna come get you!" the guy responds.
"I'd take you over the dog any day" I yell back. I'm still HANGING off a tree branch.
"He's barking because you're showing fear" the guy yells.
"I'm showing fear because I'm scared" I wittily respond.
The guy's voice is closer now. I hear him walking towards me.
"Chris?" he says.
I look up. "Tommy?"
This is a guy I went to GRAMMAR school with! And now he runs the bar in my hometown.
"What are you doing?" he asks.
"I'm hanging from a tree" is the only answer I could come up with.
because I was.
How humiliating.
And that was just part of my weekend. I told a few of you about this already, but I had a crazy weekend. I went to LA on Friday for my friend's birthday, and then flew back Saturday morning for a wedding. I landed at 4:30PM-an hour and a half behind schedule-and had to be in Philly for a wedding at 7. And I made it! Damn I'm good. I changed into my tux in the car.
Oh, and I had the wierdest experience on the plane: on both my way there and my way back I sat next to a fat Asian couple. Separate couples. Have you ever SEEN a fat Asian couple? me neither. This weekend I met 2-and sat next to them both times. The first couple, however, were really wierd because they sat on the FLOOR and faced their seats. Try to imagine this please. They sat cross-legged on the floor with thier backs to the seat in front of us. I was on the isle-they were inside. The reason they did so was because they had a 2 year old kid-or so-who slept in both seats. SO wierd. And when the kid wasn't sleeping he was running back and forth across the seats and falling on me. Ew. And the parents had no problem using my leg to brace themselves any time they wanted to get up-which happened every 6 seconds or so. It was a great flight.
there was a chocolate fountain at the wedding. a chocolate fountain!
Now, on the our regularly scheduled update:
I'm afraid of dogs.
I know that makes me a sissy, but I'm afraid of big dogs. I know where it comes from, I used to spend my summers in hicksville, NJ where dogs were used for one thing-to attack people who were anywhere near your property. I have been chased, hospitalized, traumatized and terrorized by dogs and now I'm afraid of them.
I'm not afraid to admit it.
So this past Sunday I was unwinding a bit by going for a walk in the woods in a big park by my house. It's my favorite thing to do because I can walk for an hour without seeing a single person. I'm not afraid of people. I just don't like them.
So I'm listening to the Yankees lose and walking through the woods when all of a sudden I see my worst nightmare-a Rotwieller RACING towards me barking ferociously. I panic, of course, and RUN. I run to the river and there's nowhere to go but INTO the water. So instead I jump up and hang onto a tree branch overhanging the river. I'm hanging from the branch with the dog 3 feet from me foaming at the mouth when I hear "hey boy" from somewhere in the woods.
"Hey, wanna come take care of your dog?" I yell, hanging from the branch.
"He doesn't bite," the voice responds. I look at the dog growling and baring it's teeth like I'm a giant side of meat hanging from a hook.
"Yeah, I've heard that before." I yell back. "come get your dog!"
"I'm gonna come get you!" the guy responds.
"I'd take you over the dog any day" I yell back. I'm still HANGING off a tree branch.
"He's barking because you're showing fear" the guy yells.
"I'm showing fear because I'm scared" I wittily respond.
The guy's voice is closer now. I hear him walking towards me.
"Chris?" he says.
I look up. "Tommy?"
This is a guy I went to GRAMMAR school with! And now he runs the bar in my hometown.
"What are you doing?" he asks.
"I'm hanging from a tree" is the only answer I could come up with.
because I was.
How humiliating.
And that was just part of my weekend. I told a few of you about this already, but I had a crazy weekend. I went to LA on Friday for my friend's birthday, and then flew back Saturday morning for a wedding. I landed at 4:30PM-an hour and a half behind schedule-and had to be in Philly for a wedding at 7. And I made it! Damn I'm good. I changed into my tux in the car.
Oh, and I had the wierdest experience on the plane: on both my way there and my way back I sat next to a fat Asian couple. Separate couples. Have you ever SEEN a fat Asian couple? me neither. This weekend I met 2-and sat next to them both times. The first couple, however, were really wierd because they sat on the FLOOR and faced their seats. Try to imagine this please. They sat cross-legged on the floor with thier backs to the seat in front of us. I was on the isle-they were inside. The reason they did so was because they had a 2 year old kid-or so-who slept in both seats. SO wierd. And when the kid wasn't sleeping he was running back and forth across the seats and falling on me. Ew. And the parents had no problem using my leg to brace themselves any time they wanted to get up-which happened every 6 seconds or so. It was a great flight.
there was a chocolate fountain at the wedding. a chocolate fountain!
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a photo from sweden, you see the paper right? the big papers here print special covers and even special papers just for and about bruce...