So there I was, in the middle of Ohio-600 miles from home in the pouring rain with no where to go and no way to get home.
Actually, let me back up a bit.
I went to visit Cat in Chicago this week. I'll get back to that too.
I left on Friday night around midnight and drove to Toledo, OH. Got up at around 9 to drive the rest of the way. By this time it was raining, sleeting, and snowing all at the same time. It was awful. About a half hour into my drive a car in front of me spun out and hit another car. The first car rode off the highway into a ditch and the second car hit a wall. I pulled over and got out. It was raining and sleeting in sheets. The wind was howling. I ran back to make sure everyone was ok. They were. They called 911 and I got on the road again.
I was well aware how bad the roads were so I was going around 45 in the middle lane. The highway was pretty crowded in spite of the weather but nobody was going much faster than me. Suddenly I felt the car hydroplane. I lost control and it began to fishtail. You know how they say in driver's ed to turn INTO the direction your car is swerving? Well don't. I spun around 180 degrees into the fast lane and was now facing BACKWARDS which gave me an excellent view of the Mac truck which hit me head on. He slammed into me at full speed and I shot backwards across 3 lanes of traffic and into a wall. Somehow nobody else hit me. Immediately my first thought was "FUCK! I haven't even finished paying for this car yet!". My second thought was "how am I gonna get home?" But then my third thought was "How am I not DEAD? I just hit a Mac truck head on going full speed!"
I got out of the car. The rain and snow was unrelenting, but I could see that the truck was still going. Nice. A few cars stopped to see if I was ok and I was. I called 911 and AAA and both told me that someone was on the way.
Got back in the car and waited. And waited. 2 HOURS later a cop finally showed up. Apparently he had to deal with 15 other accidents before he got to me. 15!! And for the record, the truck DID stop-at a way station a mile or so down the road where he called in the accident.
The cop took his report and the tow truck came. My car was obviously undrivable since it now looked like an accordion. So the plan was for the tow truck driver to take my car to a police lot where it will wait for an insurance estimator and it's probable scrapping (my poor car! We've been through so much together!) and then to take me to bus station where I could get to Cleveland and therefore home-somehow.
And that's where things got REALLY fun.
As we pulled off the highway and into the toll booth the tow truck driver turned to me and said, "Do you have your ticket for the toll?"
I looked at the scrap metal that used to be my car that was being dragged behind us.
"Are you kidding? I have to pay the toll?"
"Yep"
So I get out and go to my car to get out the ticket for the toll and as I do the tow truck stalls. Right in the toll booth.
"Well this ain't good" says the driver. No kidding.
He tries to start again. No dice.
"I'm gonna have to leave her here. Don't worry we'll get your car to the yard."
"Wait, what do you mean 'leave her here?' You're leaving my car here? Where are you going?"
"The garage will come pick me up"
"Where am I going?"
"I don't know. Good luck pal."
Now remember that I had packed for 4 days away. I had a ridiculous amount of stuff-3 jackets, 3 pairs of shoes. I packed like I had a shirpa and a 4 month trip through the Himalayas. Plus I had a ton of CDs and stuff-all anticipating 28 hours in the car. Now I had to take it all.
The wind was howling and the rain and snow was coming in sideways as I unloaded my car. I had a suitcase, a duffle bag and 3 garbage bags (courtesy of the toll booth folks) full of stuff. I somehow grabbed it all and walked down the highway to a Super 8 Motel.
I walked int drenched head to toe and the girl at the counter said, "Oh god, what happened to you?"
I dropped all my bags at the door and squished my way across the lobby to tell her my story.
"How far is it to the nearest airport?"
"That's in Cleveland. About an hour and a half. But I don't know how you'd get there."
"how about a train?"
"Nope. But there IS a Greyhound station down the road. They have buses that run to NY. Let me call them."
I thanked her by sneezing on her desk.
It turned out that there was a bus to NY at 4PM. It was exactly 3. The station was about 3 miles away. Things looked promising.
The girl called every taxi in the area for me. Nothing. After 20 minutes I was getting antsy. She called her boss and asked if she could leave the desk alone for a few minutes to drive me herself. He told her that she was insane. Finally a taxi service answered and they said they were sending someone right over.
I stood with my nose to the door for a half hour. The rain was pounding the windows. It was unrelenting. The clocked ticked: 3:35, 3:45. Finally at 3:50 and older man shuffled in and said "Anyone call a taxi?"
"YES!" I screamed.
"Oh, I've been here for a while. I'm around the side. I thought you'd be outside"
WHY would I be outside? It was torrential out there!
Anyway, I ran around the side and he shuffled behind me. Even though I told him that I was trying to catch a bus in 5 minutes he didn't seem to move in any other mode but slow motion.
"Where ya going?" He asked as he drove VERY slowly in the direction of the bus stop.
"New York. Well, the bus goes to New York but I live in New Jersey."
He practically drove off the road, "That place is the WORST! That's the worst place on earth!"
"I live there"
"God! It's really the WORST!"
I looked around at Podunk, Ohio-or wherever I was. "Ok. " I replied.
We pulled into the Greyhound "station". It was one bench and a ticket booth. A sign on the ticket booth said "Closed weekends. Please buy tickets from driver."
It was 4:10. The bus was gone.
"That'll be $21.50" said the old guy.
I hated him so much that I actually got out of the car in the pouring rain and just stood there at the bus stop. The schedule said the next bus was at 7:20PM.
"The 7:20 only comes sometimes," the old guy said as he drove away. "Hope today is your day."
So there I was, in the middle of Ohio-600 miles from home in the pouring rain with no where to go and no way to get home.
I picked up my bags and walked down the highway until I saw a mall. I went inside and walked to the benches in the mall's center where a bunch of husbands were waiting for their wives. I was dressed all in black and drenched head to toe. I carried a suitcase, a duffle bag, and 2 garbage bags. When I sat down a puddle began forming beneath me. Naturally all heads turned to look at me. I just sat there looking into space.
After an hour or so I went into a bookstore and bought "The complete Slayer's Guide-an Unauthorized Look at 'Buffy'"-just because Buffy makes all things better. And then squished into a Sabbarro pizza where I paid for a slice with a dripping wet $5 bill. And I waited for 7:20 to roll around.
The 7:20 was late, but it came. It took me to Cleveland where I had to get a transfer to NY. Even though the bus left at 10 PM there was not an empty seat available and I spent the entire 11 hour ride pushing a snoring, drooling guy off my shoulder. I finally arrived in NYC at 8AM. Total travel time-26 hours.
Good times.
But Chicago was great. Me, Cameron, and my lovely girlfriend Sloan had a great time going to museums, a Cubs game, and going to a restaurant where I posed as "Abe Froman-the sausage king of Chicago." It was a lot of fun.
Actually that's not true. But I DID get to go the the Chicago SG meetup and meet all of the cool Chi town folks. What a great group! I hope to get back there soon.
Oh-and I have to thank Cat for all her hospitality and for generally being an amazing person. People like her are the reason life is worth living.
Actually, let me back up a bit.
I went to visit Cat in Chicago this week. I'll get back to that too.
I left on Friday night around midnight and drove to Toledo, OH. Got up at around 9 to drive the rest of the way. By this time it was raining, sleeting, and snowing all at the same time. It was awful. About a half hour into my drive a car in front of me spun out and hit another car. The first car rode off the highway into a ditch and the second car hit a wall. I pulled over and got out. It was raining and sleeting in sheets. The wind was howling. I ran back to make sure everyone was ok. They were. They called 911 and I got on the road again.
I was well aware how bad the roads were so I was going around 45 in the middle lane. The highway was pretty crowded in spite of the weather but nobody was going much faster than me. Suddenly I felt the car hydroplane. I lost control and it began to fishtail. You know how they say in driver's ed to turn INTO the direction your car is swerving? Well don't. I spun around 180 degrees into the fast lane and was now facing BACKWARDS which gave me an excellent view of the Mac truck which hit me head on. He slammed into me at full speed and I shot backwards across 3 lanes of traffic and into a wall. Somehow nobody else hit me. Immediately my first thought was "FUCK! I haven't even finished paying for this car yet!". My second thought was "how am I gonna get home?" But then my third thought was "How am I not DEAD? I just hit a Mac truck head on going full speed!"
I got out of the car. The rain and snow was unrelenting, but I could see that the truck was still going. Nice. A few cars stopped to see if I was ok and I was. I called 911 and AAA and both told me that someone was on the way.
Got back in the car and waited. And waited. 2 HOURS later a cop finally showed up. Apparently he had to deal with 15 other accidents before he got to me. 15!! And for the record, the truck DID stop-at a way station a mile or so down the road where he called in the accident.
The cop took his report and the tow truck came. My car was obviously undrivable since it now looked like an accordion. So the plan was for the tow truck driver to take my car to a police lot where it will wait for an insurance estimator and it's probable scrapping (my poor car! We've been through so much together!) and then to take me to bus station where I could get to Cleveland and therefore home-somehow.
And that's where things got REALLY fun.
As we pulled off the highway and into the toll booth the tow truck driver turned to me and said, "Do you have your ticket for the toll?"
I looked at the scrap metal that used to be my car that was being dragged behind us.
"Are you kidding? I have to pay the toll?"
"Yep"
So I get out and go to my car to get out the ticket for the toll and as I do the tow truck stalls. Right in the toll booth.
"Well this ain't good" says the driver. No kidding.
He tries to start again. No dice.
"I'm gonna have to leave her here. Don't worry we'll get your car to the yard."
"Wait, what do you mean 'leave her here?' You're leaving my car here? Where are you going?"
"The garage will come pick me up"
"Where am I going?"
"I don't know. Good luck pal."
Now remember that I had packed for 4 days away. I had a ridiculous amount of stuff-3 jackets, 3 pairs of shoes. I packed like I had a shirpa and a 4 month trip through the Himalayas. Plus I had a ton of CDs and stuff-all anticipating 28 hours in the car. Now I had to take it all.
The wind was howling and the rain and snow was coming in sideways as I unloaded my car. I had a suitcase, a duffle bag and 3 garbage bags (courtesy of the toll booth folks) full of stuff. I somehow grabbed it all and walked down the highway to a Super 8 Motel.
I walked int drenched head to toe and the girl at the counter said, "Oh god, what happened to you?"
I dropped all my bags at the door and squished my way across the lobby to tell her my story.
"How far is it to the nearest airport?"
"That's in Cleveland. About an hour and a half. But I don't know how you'd get there."
"how about a train?"
"Nope. But there IS a Greyhound station down the road. They have buses that run to NY. Let me call them."
I thanked her by sneezing on her desk.
It turned out that there was a bus to NY at 4PM. It was exactly 3. The station was about 3 miles away. Things looked promising.
The girl called every taxi in the area for me. Nothing. After 20 minutes I was getting antsy. She called her boss and asked if she could leave the desk alone for a few minutes to drive me herself. He told her that she was insane. Finally a taxi service answered and they said they were sending someone right over.
I stood with my nose to the door for a half hour. The rain was pounding the windows. It was unrelenting. The clocked ticked: 3:35, 3:45. Finally at 3:50 and older man shuffled in and said "Anyone call a taxi?"
"YES!" I screamed.
"Oh, I've been here for a while. I'm around the side. I thought you'd be outside"
WHY would I be outside? It was torrential out there!
Anyway, I ran around the side and he shuffled behind me. Even though I told him that I was trying to catch a bus in 5 minutes he didn't seem to move in any other mode but slow motion.
"Where ya going?" He asked as he drove VERY slowly in the direction of the bus stop.
"New York. Well, the bus goes to New York but I live in New Jersey."
He practically drove off the road, "That place is the WORST! That's the worst place on earth!"
"I live there"
"God! It's really the WORST!"
I looked around at Podunk, Ohio-or wherever I was. "Ok. " I replied.
We pulled into the Greyhound "station". It was one bench and a ticket booth. A sign on the ticket booth said "Closed weekends. Please buy tickets from driver."
It was 4:10. The bus was gone.
"That'll be $21.50" said the old guy.
I hated him so much that I actually got out of the car in the pouring rain and just stood there at the bus stop. The schedule said the next bus was at 7:20PM.
"The 7:20 only comes sometimes," the old guy said as he drove away. "Hope today is your day."
So there I was, in the middle of Ohio-600 miles from home in the pouring rain with no where to go and no way to get home.
I picked up my bags and walked down the highway until I saw a mall. I went inside and walked to the benches in the mall's center where a bunch of husbands were waiting for their wives. I was dressed all in black and drenched head to toe. I carried a suitcase, a duffle bag, and 2 garbage bags. When I sat down a puddle began forming beneath me. Naturally all heads turned to look at me. I just sat there looking into space.
After an hour or so I went into a bookstore and bought "The complete Slayer's Guide-an Unauthorized Look at 'Buffy'"-just because Buffy makes all things better. And then squished into a Sabbarro pizza where I paid for a slice with a dripping wet $5 bill. And I waited for 7:20 to roll around.
The 7:20 was late, but it came. It took me to Cleveland where I had to get a transfer to NY. Even though the bus left at 10 PM there was not an empty seat available and I spent the entire 11 hour ride pushing a snoring, drooling guy off my shoulder. I finally arrived in NYC at 8AM. Total travel time-26 hours.
Good times.
But Chicago was great. Me, Cameron, and my lovely girlfriend Sloan had a great time going to museums, a Cubs game, and going to a restaurant where I posed as "Abe Froman-the sausage king of Chicago." It was a lot of fun.
Actually that's not true. But I DID get to go the the Chicago SG meetup and meet all of the cool Chi town folks. What a great group! I hope to get back there soon.
Oh-and I have to thank Cat for all her hospitality and for generally being an amazing person. People like her are the reason life is worth living.
VIEW 25 of 53 COMMENTS
ummm, yeah, long story!