Ok, since it's Valentine's Day at all I'm gonna tell you about my worst breakup ever. Well, the most entertaining-in-its-hearbreak breakup anway.
A few years ago I was seeing this girl that I was CAZY about. I mean walk around in a daze all day humming, grinning stupidly, I'd drink a tub of her bathwater crazy. Crazy.
So my birthday is coming up and she suggests we go to Medieval Times. Do you know what that is? It's this horrid place where people pretend to watch jousts and knights in armor and all that. It's all cheesy beyond belief.
But she wants to go. So I say yes.
So she invites all my friends and makes a reservation for my birthday. We put a deposit on my credit card (hers are maxed out of course). And we await the big day.
Well the day before my birthday she dumps me. No kidding. She goes back to her old boyfriend (who is a major league baseball player) .
So I'm left with a non-refundable deposit. For 17 people. And Medieval Times won't let me out of it.
So I go with my friends. I'm miserable, of course, What I didn't know is that it had been previously arranged for me to be KNIGHTED for my birthday.
So the "king" (some guy with a mullet who probably hangs out at my sister's job) unrolls a parchment and with a "Hear ye, hear ye" announces the bithday knightings to be done. And he calls out a 6 year old, and 8 year old, a 10 year old-and ME.
As soon as I get up everyone in the place starts laughing. But I go down to the middle of the arena anyway and kneel with all the kids. And the king goes down the line saying "I dub thee, on the occaision of his 6th birthday..."
When the king gets to me he whispers, "Should I say how old you are?"
I was like "You might as well!"
So happy valentine's day.
I'd like to point out that tonight Stevie Van Zand't Underground Garage is paying tribute not to Valentine's Day, but to the St. Valentine's Day massacre, which I think is hilarious. If you can't get his show in your city I'm happy to send you a copy on CD.
And he's right-either way you end up blindfolded up against a wall wating for bullets to cut you to ribbons thinking, "How did I get here?"
Such is love.
A few years ago I was seeing this girl that I was CAZY about. I mean walk around in a daze all day humming, grinning stupidly, I'd drink a tub of her bathwater crazy. Crazy.
So my birthday is coming up and she suggests we go to Medieval Times. Do you know what that is? It's this horrid place where people pretend to watch jousts and knights in armor and all that. It's all cheesy beyond belief.
But she wants to go. So I say yes.
So she invites all my friends and makes a reservation for my birthday. We put a deposit on my credit card (hers are maxed out of course). And we await the big day.
Well the day before my birthday she dumps me. No kidding. She goes back to her old boyfriend (who is a major league baseball player) .
So I'm left with a non-refundable deposit. For 17 people. And Medieval Times won't let me out of it.
So I go with my friends. I'm miserable, of course, What I didn't know is that it had been previously arranged for me to be KNIGHTED for my birthday.
So the "king" (some guy with a mullet who probably hangs out at my sister's job) unrolls a parchment and with a "Hear ye, hear ye" announces the bithday knightings to be done. And he calls out a 6 year old, and 8 year old, a 10 year old-and ME.
As soon as I get up everyone in the place starts laughing. But I go down to the middle of the arena anyway and kneel with all the kids. And the king goes down the line saying "I dub thee, on the occaision of his 6th birthday..."
When the king gets to me he whispers, "Should I say how old you are?"
I was like "You might as well!"
So happy valentine's day.
I'd like to point out that tonight Stevie Van Zand't Underground Garage is paying tribute not to Valentine's Day, but to the St. Valentine's Day massacre, which I think is hilarious. If you can't get his show in your city I'm happy to send you a copy on CD.
And he's right-either way you end up blindfolded up against a wall wating for bullets to cut you to ribbons thinking, "How did I get here?"
Such is love.
VIEW 25 of 51 COMMENTS
The latter happens to be one of my favorite all time movies. I really should rotate that list.
hahahehe... i was there for WAAAaaaayyy too long. and i hope strange, strange, strange doesn't mean dick, dick, dick. i hate alienating people except when i mean to...
forget this, watch it and tell me how it is. i've been meaning to see it, though i rarely see a movie in the theater. i'm too particular and hate paying so much to be jerked around. clint is really a force of nature though, i don't think i could dislike one of his movies....
[Edited on Feb 14, 2005 10:27PM]