bedheadchicken

YAY! I'M ANNOYING!

I did that 25 Random things on Facebook. Why? I dunno. But I don't know most of you there so I thought I'd be annoying here too. Here goes:


1. I think the hardest part of my life to get over is 'Nam. Once I went to find my friend from my special unit in Washington State, where he had settled after the war. When I got there I learned that he had died. The sheriff, Brian Dennehy, told me to leave town because he didn't like drifters. I didn't and they arrested me and beat me. Then I had flashbacks to being a prisoner of war and I snapped and escaped the police station, stole a motorcycle and ran into the mountains. Then I killed every cop that came after me. And then I said to Brian Dennehy like this: "They drew first blood, not me"

Then Col. Troutman came and told me that it was over and I said "NOTHING IS OVER! NOTHING! IT WAS YOUR WAR, NOT MINE. I DID WHAT I HAD TO WIN! OVER THERE WE HAD A CODE OF HONOR!! I DROVE A TANK! I WAS IN CHARGE OF MILLION DOLLAR EQUIPMENT! HERE I CAN'T EVEN HOLD A JOB PARKING CARS!!"

And then I cried and Col. Troutman led me outside where i gave myself up. That was a rough weekend.


2. Getting lost inside a song or piece of music is the closest I've ever felt to God.

Listening, that is. I have no musical talent whatsoever.

3. Growing up, my parents were really good friends with several priests and nuns. A few of our family vacations (our family and the Garrett family, that is) were to monasteries. It was both weirder and more normal than you think. We spent a lot of time sitting around learning Irish drinking songs with the priests. I got my first beer from Father Kevin. It was not uncommon for my living room to be full of drunk priests until 5AM or so on a Friday or Saturday night when I was a kid.

4. There are some people I miss so much that I don't know what to do about it. Live with it, I guess. It's no fun, though. Some are here. Some are gone. I miss them still the same.

5. A few people very dear to me have had their health fail them in various ways. It kinda tears me apart inside.

6. My favorite lyrics to any song ever go like this: .....um......they go:

Um....

I forget. I'll get back to you on that one.

7. After some thought I've decided that I'm never stepping foot in the new Yankee stadium. To me it's a giant "fuck you" to all the fans who have supported the team over the years and a clear and shameful sign of corporate interests being put before the fans' interest.
(that said I like terms like "stepping foot"!). And I'm a longtime Yankee fan. I went to my first game with my uncle and cousins when I was about 7. He was too cheap to park in the stadium lot so we parked in Harlem and walked across the bridge. When we came back our battery was stolen. And when I was about 11 I got hit in the forehead with a foul ball once when and got knocked out. It was old timer's day and because I got hit I got to meet Mickey Mantle and Phil Rizzutto. Mickey Mantle was drunk.

8. Tomb of the UNKNOWN Soldier?? That's some lazy-ass shit!

9. The older I get the more I realize how primitive we still are as a species. We kinda laugh at ancient societies that thought that prayed to rain gods or fertility gods, but are our own beliefs really all that different? Now we just think that ONE god does all that. We still think-on some level- that there's a old man who lives in the sky who writes down all the bad stuff we do and controls everything. The more I listen to religious people's beliefs the more I think they're batshit crazy. And I'm a believer, by the way.

10. We really need to come up with a past tense for the word "text". "I texted you" just sounds stupid.

11. My first concert ever was Frankie Valley and the 4 Seasons at 6 Flags Great Adventure. My first concert WITHOUT my parents was David Lee Roth. It was his birthday. I think I'm older now than David Lee Roth was then. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

12. I once got poison ivy on my penis.

13. I was attacked by a German Sheppard when I was a kid and I've been uneasy around big dogs my whole life. I'm also uneasy around Asians. Just kidding.

14. I wrote a letter to Jimmy Stewart when I was a kid and he wrote me back. I can't find the letter or the picture now, though. That makes me angry.

15. Working on The Sopranos was the best experience I've had at work ever, but i don't really miss it and I'm kinda glad it's over. Is that weird? Don't get me wrong, I miss the people. I'm just glad the show is over. It was time.

16. I'm always entertained by how willing people are to turn themselves into stereotypes. I saw that a lot on Sopranos. "Hey, I'm a fat Italian guy from New Jersey! Fuggetaboutit! I should be on the show! I like pasta! PASTA!!!"

Really? Really. REALLY?

"Hey look! I'm a drunken Irish guy who wears green and gets drunk on St. Paddy's day!!"

"Hey I'm from New Jersey! What exit? Big hair! Toll booths! HAHAHA"

Jesus.

17. My favorite Bob Dylan line of recent years is "I'm in love with a woman who doesn't even appeal to me".

How great is that?

18. When I was in high school I had a poster of Bobby Kennedy in my room. I read a ton of biographies on him. I idolized him. Later, in college, I got to know his daughter, Rory, pretty well. I never told her. I'm sure she hears that from people all the time.

19. I've only been on rollerblades once and the police were involved. That's all I'm saying.

20. For some reason the sound of liquid being poured on the radio grosses me out. Radio stations that play pouring coffee in the morning, or beer commercials that have that sound effect? ew.

21. I once drove to Memphis to visit a girl. She was later murdered. That's strange to think about.

22. My most guilty guilty pleasure song of all time? "Hopelessly Devoted to You" by Olivia Newton John. Shut up.

23. I'm obsessed with asses. Rather, I'm obsessed with our collective obsession with asses. I find it funny how often we use the word "ass" to refer to a person's personhood. "I saved his ass", "Get your ass in here", "My ass is out of here". If we're being nice to someone we're "kissing ass". If you hate someone they can kiss YOUR ass. When we laugh we laugh our ass off (huh?). When we're cold we freeze our asses off. When we're hot we sweat our asses off. Doesn't anyone else find this odd?

24. There's a space between your highest hopes and your darkest fears. That's where you make your life. Get used to it there.

25. Every once in a while I try to remind myself this: the Earth is 4.5 Billion years old. If the world's history took place over the course of a single day, all of human existence would take place within the last minute before midnight. That's ALL of it: the cavemen, the ancient Greeks, "Police Academy" movies. EVERYTHING. Taking all of that into consideration it doesn't matter much if my hair doesn't look the way I want on a certain day, or if Miss Cumquat Queen 2004 doesn't want to go out with me or whatever. In the end it all doesn't mean much. People who enjoyed unfathomable riches and fame and glory in their days are long gone and forgotten. I will someday too. And so will you. We like to think that we matter, but REALLY in the long term we don't. And that's cool. Take care of yourself and take care of those around you. That's kinda all you can do that really means anything.