I just found this this morning going through some old files. It's the opening scene of a musical I wrote about working at the mall. Well it was a musical/murder mystery/epic statement on the quiet despiration of modern life.
or not. whateva
either way, just to point out how little I had to do a few years ago, here's the opening scene: (Btw: "V.O." means Voiceover in scriptspeak. As in narration). Anyway:
We Open On
A portrait of WOLFGANG AMADEUS MOZART, a young genius in all his Mozartness. We hear the VOICE of our narrator/protagonist JOE.
JOE (V.O.)
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart was eight years old
when he wrote his first symphony.
We cut to a portrait of JOAN OF ARC.
JOE (V.0)
Joan of Arc was sixteen when she lead Charles VII's
army for the Francs.
Finally, we see a portrait of ALEXANDER THE GREAT.
JOE (V.O.)
And when Alexander the Great was twenty-two, he
was on his way towards conquering most of the
known world...
EXT. MALL PARKING LOT-DAY
We cut to the vast parking lot of the Garden State Plaza, a huge mall in Paramus, New Jersey-the same lot as the one in the opening scene. Now the skies are blue, the parking lot is empty and it's a glorious morning at the mall. We follow a blue Honda Civic as it drives into the parking lot.
JOE (CONT.)
My name's Joe. I'm twenty-six. I work at the mall.
The car parks and Joe steps out. Suddenly MUSIC SWELLS and Joe runs through the spacious parking lot. He spreads his arms and spins around like Julie Andrews in The Sound Of Music
INT. MALL- CONTINUOUS
He runs into the mall, arms outstretched, running past the stores. ALL THE MALL WORKERS, opening their stores, begin SINGING. It's a very lavish production.
ALL THE MALL WORKERS (SINGING)
We're open for business today
We're working for minimum wage
Our jobs all suck
But we don't give a fuck
We're bitter and we like it that way!
Joe hops on the spinning carousel, grabs a pole and rides it around for one spin while all the OTHER MALL WORKERS dance around him. A BIG HAIRED GIRL behind a makeup counter takes a verse.
BIG HAIRED GIRL (SINGING)
I sell you all your makeup
I lie and say you look great
I give you your change and while you walk away
I laugh cause you're overweight!
A middle-aged man working in a DISNEY-LIKE STORE (we don't want to be sued) picks up the tune.
MAN IN DISNEY-LIKE STORE (SINGING)
I work for a cartoon mouse
My wife got the kids and the house
I've been working here since Christmas last year
When I lost my job and my spouse!
A WOMAN IN THE FOOD COURT sings the bridge.
WOMAN IN FOOD COURT (SINGING)
There's ice cream in thirty one flavors
Sushi served on a plastic tray
Lowfat yogurt and tacos and pizza and nachos
That's America today!
EVERYONE joins in again, dancing all over the mall. Joe is at the center.
EVERYONE (SINGING)
We're open for business today
So hurry and come right away
And come in to buy a new CD or tie
Aaaand then please go A-WAYYYYY!!!!!!!
BIG FINISH! With fireworks and confetti. The camera zooms in on Joe, who smiles. His teeth shine. The music crashes to a finale.
JOE (V.O.)
Well that's how it SHOULD be, anyway.
EXT. MALL PARKING LOT-DAY
Joe is still sitting in his car-but the parking lot is PACKED, a sea of cars, and he's seemingly miles away from the mall entrance. He SIGHS deeply and gets out of the car. As he begins his treck across the parking lot...
JOE (V.O.)
For over two hundred years writers, painters, poets
and musicians have tried to capture the spirit of America.
But I work at ground zero. The mall IS America.
INT. MALL-DAY
PANDEMONIUM!!!! As only shoppers on a Saturday can create it. The mall is packed with people. All kinds of people. There are groups of TEENAGE KIDS dressed like adolescent vampires, OLD PEOPLE, PARENTS WITH THEIR KIDS. Every race, color, and creed. INDIAN WOMAN, dressed in Eastern robes pushing strollers with Mickey Mouse balloons tied to the handles, large JAPANESE FAMILIES (whose group almost always counts three generations), high school ROMEOS eyeing groups of girls, running kids, screaming babies, parents with ice cream, tall people, fat people (LOTS of fat people), guys with beards, tattoos and Budweiser T-shirts. Turbans, baseball hats, shopping bags and popcorn. This is the "Declaration Of Independence" made flesh. Welcome the sons and daughters of the new America.
Can you see it now? this is going to Broadway, damnit!
Or maybe not.
or not. whateva
either way, just to point out how little I had to do a few years ago, here's the opening scene: (Btw: "V.O." means Voiceover in scriptspeak. As in narration). Anyway:
We Open On
A portrait of WOLFGANG AMADEUS MOZART, a young genius in all his Mozartness. We hear the VOICE of our narrator/protagonist JOE.
JOE (V.O.)
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart was eight years old
when he wrote his first symphony.
We cut to a portrait of JOAN OF ARC.
JOE (V.0)
Joan of Arc was sixteen when she lead Charles VII's
army for the Francs.
Finally, we see a portrait of ALEXANDER THE GREAT.
JOE (V.O.)
And when Alexander the Great was twenty-two, he
was on his way towards conquering most of the
known world...
EXT. MALL PARKING LOT-DAY
We cut to the vast parking lot of the Garden State Plaza, a huge mall in Paramus, New Jersey-the same lot as the one in the opening scene. Now the skies are blue, the parking lot is empty and it's a glorious morning at the mall. We follow a blue Honda Civic as it drives into the parking lot.
JOE (CONT.)
My name's Joe. I'm twenty-six. I work at the mall.
The car parks and Joe steps out. Suddenly MUSIC SWELLS and Joe runs through the spacious parking lot. He spreads his arms and spins around like Julie Andrews in The Sound Of Music
INT. MALL- CONTINUOUS
He runs into the mall, arms outstretched, running past the stores. ALL THE MALL WORKERS, opening their stores, begin SINGING. It's a very lavish production.
ALL THE MALL WORKERS (SINGING)
We're open for business today
We're working for minimum wage
Our jobs all suck
But we don't give a fuck
We're bitter and we like it that way!
Joe hops on the spinning carousel, grabs a pole and rides it around for one spin while all the OTHER MALL WORKERS dance around him. A BIG HAIRED GIRL behind a makeup counter takes a verse.
BIG HAIRED GIRL (SINGING)
I sell you all your makeup
I lie and say you look great
I give you your change and while you walk away
I laugh cause you're overweight!
A middle-aged man working in a DISNEY-LIKE STORE (we don't want to be sued) picks up the tune.
MAN IN DISNEY-LIKE STORE (SINGING)
I work for a cartoon mouse
My wife got the kids and the house
I've been working here since Christmas last year
When I lost my job and my spouse!
A WOMAN IN THE FOOD COURT sings the bridge.
WOMAN IN FOOD COURT (SINGING)
There's ice cream in thirty one flavors
Sushi served on a plastic tray
Lowfat yogurt and tacos and pizza and nachos
That's America today!
EVERYONE joins in again, dancing all over the mall. Joe is at the center.
EVERYONE (SINGING)
We're open for business today
So hurry and come right away
And come in to buy a new CD or tie
Aaaand then please go A-WAYYYYY!!!!!!!
BIG FINISH! With fireworks and confetti. The camera zooms in on Joe, who smiles. His teeth shine. The music crashes to a finale.
JOE (V.O.)
Well that's how it SHOULD be, anyway.
EXT. MALL PARKING LOT-DAY
Joe is still sitting in his car-but the parking lot is PACKED, a sea of cars, and he's seemingly miles away from the mall entrance. He SIGHS deeply and gets out of the car. As he begins his treck across the parking lot...
JOE (V.O.)
For over two hundred years writers, painters, poets
and musicians have tried to capture the spirit of America.
But I work at ground zero. The mall IS America.
INT. MALL-DAY
PANDEMONIUM!!!! As only shoppers on a Saturday can create it. The mall is packed with people. All kinds of people. There are groups of TEENAGE KIDS dressed like adolescent vampires, OLD PEOPLE, PARENTS WITH THEIR KIDS. Every race, color, and creed. INDIAN WOMAN, dressed in Eastern robes pushing strollers with Mickey Mouse balloons tied to the handles, large JAPANESE FAMILIES (whose group almost always counts three generations), high school ROMEOS eyeing groups of girls, running kids, screaming babies, parents with ice cream, tall people, fat people (LOTS of fat people), guys with beards, tattoos and Budweiser T-shirts. Turbans, baseball hats, shopping bags and popcorn. This is the "Declaration Of Independence" made flesh. Welcome the sons and daughters of the new America.
Can you see it now? this is going to Broadway, damnit!
Or maybe not.
VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
for that reason i am always apprehensive to drink from it. haha.
you're going to end up with one nostril bigger then the other hahaha