beautifulxalone

godDAMN.
almost a whole week passed already? it felt like the longest week ever tho.

Warden's gone on a jail-break, baby.......

Band of the week: The Recieving End of Sirens.


it was very lonely at the house this week. thursday was fun...I got way too drunk, but it was okay. Got to see an old friend, and bumped into two ex-boyfriends of my two ex-best friends. WEIRD. My knuckle hurts, and I know I banged it into something, but I don't know what. Hmm.
Ow..now it reallly hurts because I tried to crack it. Oops.

Anyway. Work was pretty busy wed and thurs, and I got my boss to let me have the night off on friday!!! that kind of shit never happens. he was like, if you get your shift covered you don't have to come in. and i was like, why do i have to get my shift covered? no one will. and he said why should i just give you the night off? well let's see...bkz there's only been 3 servers every other week, you have a full staff up front, and you'll be there...i'm first out, and i'm working a double on sat and sunday, so why should i WASTE MY TIME? and that's what i said to him. so he gave me off haha. ROCK. It was fantastic bkz i was so hungover, and i just wanted to hang out. Ash and I watched about 1000 hours of VH1, and then i sorted out my pictures and put them chronologically into photo albums. I'm pretty proud of myself, and it occupied my time for about 3 hours, and made me happily nostalgic.(mostly)

ALSO. I got this very unexpected package from my mom on friday. She sent me two cards, and a cute flower shaped sun-catcher thing that had a charm on it that said "daughters bring sunshine". One of the cards had snoopy and woodstock on it (Peanuts characters were HUGE in my family. We had Snoopy at the top of our Christmas tree every year. haha...)and in the middle it said that she hoped those two old friends would bring a smile to my face..the other card said that she just wanted to send me something to let me know that she was thinking of me, and to stay strong thru the hard times. MY MOTHER NEVER DOES SHIT LIKE THIS. It's amazing, and wonderful how far our relationship has come in the past 3 years. We barely spoke to each other for pretty much the entire time I was in HS. I think my mother has really come to respect me as a person, and respect the decisions I've made in my life. I know that she doesn't always AGREE with all of my decisions, but she stands behind me, and supports me, which means alot. I haven't always had that from her. And I knew that I would always feel that I had to prove something to her, to them..but now I feel like I've actually earned her approval. I try my best to understand her point of views, and realize that she's only trying to help and she is not the enemy. Very introspective, huh?

I'm doing my best to keep busy and work as much as I can for the rest of the summer. I can't stay holed up inthe house all the time...I need to stay far away from here as possible. It just sucks me dry. Too much of a reminder of everything bad in my life. Sad, huh? But this house has too many memories...and when it's empty, they just overwhelm me.

I stopped drinking coffee. Strictly green tea as far as caffeine intake goes. I was tired of feeling mad jittery, and feeling lilke my heart was going to explode out of my chest. I'm working on riddening myself of my vices. Smoking is next, and will be the hardest. But I'm hoping the little haitus I will be going on from smoking, after getting my wisdom teeth out, will help curb the addiction...That'll also save me mad cash. (As did, quitting Dunkin Donuts.haha.)

So we'll see....Baby steps.

I've been waiting for a phone call for over a week, and I finally got it Friday morning, and what did my phone do? Lose service 2 minutes into the conversation. FUCKING A. This house is a black hole for service, I swear.

My finger hurts. I'm done typing.
Thanks for all the nice comments about my new 'do last post. You guys are the sweetest.


xox.