i had a panic attack tonite.
a full blown, couldn't see, couldn't breathe, felt dizzy with tunnel vision panic attack. i haven't had one of those in years.
everyone's downstairs drinking and such.
i feel such such monotony hanging over me
and at the same time, i cant cant cant do anything about it. i dont know what to do.
this time of year is really hard, especially this year. i feel like i have so much on my shoulders. i almost started crying while doing my taxes today bkz every five seconds i felt like i was going "what the fuck is THAT?" durrrh.
kris has been a mess lately because of her breakup, and things around the house have been tense since i finally called our bitch roommate out on talking shit about me behind my back. she's been avoiding me ever since. i want her out...especially now since she thinks she has an STD bkz she's a dirty WHORE.
i want to lysol her entire room. it's funny bkz ash and i told our manager about how dirty she is, and our manager went to the dollar store and bought all of this cleaning shit for us, and wrote funny tags on them that said "No STD's for me!" and "For the non-sheet washing floozies!"
hahaha.
i cant WAIT until school is over, and it's warm, and i can feel more pleasant again. i want to take tons of road trips this summer (!!!), and walk around barefoot and sleep naked with the windows wide open, and to sit around outside, drink outside, smoke on the beach. fuck yeah. i love summer.
i cant wait until i'm tan, and i can wear shorts and tanks and no bra all the time. i think it'll definitely be a memorable summer, and i wont be so lonely bkz i wont be living here by myself anymore!!! yay.
so 5 weeks to get thru.
i went to the shelter for the first time in 3 weeks on monday. it was fun. the kids there right now are all pretty young. and i got to talk to the brother of Jorge, the little boy who i was attached to, and his brother said he was doing well. good.
i wish i could sleep for 3 days straight.
every morning i wake up feeling as if i didnt even sleep at all.
i wish i wasnt feeling so anti-social and i was downstairs with everyone else right now instead of sitting holed up in my room like a weirdo typing on my computer.
i think i'm always going to be a loner at heart.
anyway, how is everyone? do you all have spring fever like me?
xox.
a full blown, couldn't see, couldn't breathe, felt dizzy with tunnel vision panic attack. i haven't had one of those in years.
everyone's downstairs drinking and such.
i feel such such monotony hanging over me
and at the same time, i cant cant cant do anything about it. i dont know what to do.
this time of year is really hard, especially this year. i feel like i have so much on my shoulders. i almost started crying while doing my taxes today bkz every five seconds i felt like i was going "what the fuck is THAT?" durrrh.
kris has been a mess lately because of her breakup, and things around the house have been tense since i finally called our bitch roommate out on talking shit about me behind my back. she's been avoiding me ever since. i want her out...especially now since she thinks she has an STD bkz she's a dirty WHORE.
i want to lysol her entire room. it's funny bkz ash and i told our manager about how dirty she is, and our manager went to the dollar store and bought all of this cleaning shit for us, and wrote funny tags on them that said "No STD's for me!" and "For the non-sheet washing floozies!"
hahaha.
i cant WAIT until school is over, and it's warm, and i can feel more pleasant again. i want to take tons of road trips this summer (!!!), and walk around barefoot and sleep naked with the windows wide open, and to sit around outside, drink outside, smoke on the beach. fuck yeah. i love summer.
i cant wait until i'm tan, and i can wear shorts and tanks and no bra all the time. i think it'll definitely be a memorable summer, and i wont be so lonely bkz i wont be living here by myself anymore!!! yay.
so 5 weeks to get thru.
i went to the shelter for the first time in 3 weeks on monday. it was fun. the kids there right now are all pretty young. and i got to talk to the brother of Jorge, the little boy who i was attached to, and his brother said he was doing well. good.
i wish i could sleep for 3 days straight.
every morning i wake up feeling as if i didnt even sleep at all.
i wish i wasnt feeling so anti-social and i was downstairs with everyone else right now instead of sitting holed up in my room like a weirdo typing on my computer.
i think i'm always going to be a loner at heart.
anyway, how is everyone? do you all have spring fever like me?
xox.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
yes i so have spring fever, I want to go run and play in the fields; wash and shine my car; and go buy a bike and just ride around here... but it seems to want to rain and thunderstorm today.. (sigh)
but tomarrow is supposed to be pretty like in the 60 and what not.. yay, all the way till thursday; then more crappin rain, but then again it is April.