Today was such a meaningful day for me.
Work was amazingly satisfying, easy, and I flowed right through it. Honestly, the holidays have been the furthest thing from my mind, but tonight I wrapped all my gifts, and my roommates dressed their (almost) one year old in a santa suit. So adorable. I love that little man.
Physical pain can be eased when emotional pain is lessened. I got a series of tests done yesterday to confirm that my endometriosis is back and more aggressive than ever. And my only choices were really to go back on the Lupron shot (which is a hormone shot that stops the menstrual flow, and basically makes you go thru menopause, coupled with some other HORRENDOUS side effects.) or get surgery. Well, I made my own choices. I did my research on the Lupron shot, and heard a lot of negative experiences from women who had been on it, and I experienced some pretty severe side effects when I was on it before as well. And all it really does it help shrink the growths and eliminate the pain. I know that the emotional side effects of this drug are SEVERE, and I told my doc straight up that I cannot take the chance of losing everything that I've worked SO HARD to figure out over the past 6 months. I have just reached the point of stability, and I cannot chance being put on some drug that could possibly fuck with my brain chemicals, and whose side effects include depression and suicidal ideation. No fucking way.
So back to making my own choices. My sister had sent me this website a few months back when I had an ovarian cyst, about this Anti-inflammatory diet. It's nothing extreme, but it really focuses on foods that do not have estrogen in them, mostly organic, no red meat, very little dairy, etc. This will be a HUGE overhaul of what I used to eat, while I do eat pretty healthily, it's not usual crunchy granola type shit. That's the first step. The next is to quit smoking. New Years Day this will be happening, and for real this time. And the third step is to research homeopathic doctors, and get myself some acupuncture. I've been itching to go back to Acupuncture, and my sister really recommends it. If, after a few months of my lifestyle changes, I am still feeling uncomfort and severe pain, then I will consider surgery, but NO MORE HORMONES. I am too fucking young to be pumped full of hormones, and if I want any chance of having children someday, I think this is the best choice to make...and will help my overall health and well-being as well. So wish me luck. This will all be starting with the New Year, because I don't want to think about all of this stuff right now when I'm in the middle of the holidays. Fresh year, fresh start, big changes. Good changes. Scary changes. I'm letting go of some crutches that I have been CLUTCHING so tightly for years now...but all for the greater good, no? I plan on starting a blog to track my progress, ideas, etc. Anyone with experience in this type of stuff, PLEASE leave me some insight, ideas, suggestions on recipes, etc. I'd greatly appreciate it.
I spent about two hours picking the brain of a seasoned clinician whose last day was today, and whose caseload I am temporary taking over. I was practically salivating because he just babbled on and on, and we were both getting so excited and so heated just talking about different experiences, different techniques and different ideals. He was really starting to become my mentor, and I am so sad to see him go, but I know he is going to make a phenomenal psychotherapist..and I only hope that I can make even half of the impact that he has made on his clients. I love chatting with people who have similar philosophies as me. It's a huge turn on. I felt my heart pounding, and my pupils growing wider, and all of the chemical reactions that your body goes through when you are thoroughly aroused, and we were only TALKING. It's amazing how the body works sometimes. Anyway. It was meaningful, and awesome that he spent the time with me to sit there and pick his brain.
I'm exhausted. Long day tomorrow. I already had to set boundaries with a younger client of mine who referred to me as "hun" today. I think it's going to be verrrry interesting working with all men. Never done it before. Ahh well, new experiences are good for you right?
Happy, safe, and healthy holidays, to you and yours, dears.
xox.
Work was amazingly satisfying, easy, and I flowed right through it. Honestly, the holidays have been the furthest thing from my mind, but tonight I wrapped all my gifts, and my roommates dressed their (almost) one year old in a santa suit. So adorable. I love that little man.
Physical pain can be eased when emotional pain is lessened. I got a series of tests done yesterday to confirm that my endometriosis is back and more aggressive than ever. And my only choices were really to go back on the Lupron shot (which is a hormone shot that stops the menstrual flow, and basically makes you go thru menopause, coupled with some other HORRENDOUS side effects.) or get surgery. Well, I made my own choices. I did my research on the Lupron shot, and heard a lot of negative experiences from women who had been on it, and I experienced some pretty severe side effects when I was on it before as well. And all it really does it help shrink the growths and eliminate the pain. I know that the emotional side effects of this drug are SEVERE, and I told my doc straight up that I cannot take the chance of losing everything that I've worked SO HARD to figure out over the past 6 months. I have just reached the point of stability, and I cannot chance being put on some drug that could possibly fuck with my brain chemicals, and whose side effects include depression and suicidal ideation. No fucking way.
So back to making my own choices. My sister had sent me this website a few months back when I had an ovarian cyst, about this Anti-inflammatory diet. It's nothing extreme, but it really focuses on foods that do not have estrogen in them, mostly organic, no red meat, very little dairy, etc. This will be a HUGE overhaul of what I used to eat, while I do eat pretty healthily, it's not usual crunchy granola type shit. That's the first step. The next is to quit smoking. New Years Day this will be happening, and for real this time. And the third step is to research homeopathic doctors, and get myself some acupuncture. I've been itching to go back to Acupuncture, and my sister really recommends it. If, after a few months of my lifestyle changes, I am still feeling uncomfort and severe pain, then I will consider surgery, but NO MORE HORMONES. I am too fucking young to be pumped full of hormones, and if I want any chance of having children someday, I think this is the best choice to make...and will help my overall health and well-being as well. So wish me luck. This will all be starting with the New Year, because I don't want to think about all of this stuff right now when I'm in the middle of the holidays. Fresh year, fresh start, big changes. Good changes. Scary changes. I'm letting go of some crutches that I have been CLUTCHING so tightly for years now...but all for the greater good, no? I plan on starting a blog to track my progress, ideas, etc. Anyone with experience in this type of stuff, PLEASE leave me some insight, ideas, suggestions on recipes, etc. I'd greatly appreciate it.
I spent about two hours picking the brain of a seasoned clinician whose last day was today, and whose caseload I am temporary taking over. I was practically salivating because he just babbled on and on, and we were both getting so excited and so heated just talking about different experiences, different techniques and different ideals. He was really starting to become my mentor, and I am so sad to see him go, but I know he is going to make a phenomenal psychotherapist..and I only hope that I can make even half of the impact that he has made on his clients. I love chatting with people who have similar philosophies as me. It's a huge turn on. I felt my heart pounding, and my pupils growing wider, and all of the chemical reactions that your body goes through when you are thoroughly aroused, and we were only TALKING. It's amazing how the body works sometimes. Anyway. It was meaningful, and awesome that he spent the time with me to sit there and pick his brain.
I'm exhausted. Long day tomorrow. I already had to set boundaries with a younger client of mine who referred to me as "hun" today. I think it's going to be verrrry interesting working with all men. Never done it before. Ahh well, new experiences are good for you right?
Happy, safe, and healthy holidays, to you and yours, dears.
xox.
Make the choice that's right for you. You get past the pain, both kinds. I know it.