Roller coasters scare the shit out of me.
The past few days have literally been like an emotional roller coaster ride for me...Upside down, round and round, loops and turns and gut wrenching drops paired with moments of sheer elation.
The good...
+ I got offered a new job. I will have a sweet new supervisor, be able to do something that actually will help me further experience for my long term goals of being a nurse. She said I have amazing energy. That's a pretty sweet compliment. I will hear back from her next week about salary agreements. The perks are pretty awesome: decent pay, INSURANCE, and flexible schedule. Hooray.
+ I slept well last night, which is really good bkz I haven't been sleeping well at all. It's hard for me to get used to sleeping next to someone new...and we don't exactly go to bed early most of the time.
+ In addition, he's pretty fucking awesome, still. Pinch me, please.
+ Dinner was delicious last night. I love home-cooked meal nights, and good talks, and laughing.
+ My toes are still tingling.
The ugly...
+ I wish I had more to put on the "good" list...but I guess tomorrow is a new day.
+ I've had a perpetual headache. Something tells me a good, sweaty yoga session will help with that...but the sheer motivation is lost today.
+ My current shitty employer cut two more of my days this week bkz we only have three clients. UGH. This information came yesterday, right before my interview...and this kind of gave me some motivation to really sell myself and be honest during the interview about what I was looking for, which I guess helped? It was also helpful to have some encouraging words from him. I am very much looking forward to being able to give a big FUCK YOU to my job, but unfortunately won't be able to really do it, since I will probably stay there and work a few shifts a month, if they still want to keep me.
+ My mom and I had a not-so-satisfying conversation earlier, that I've been dissecting in my head ever since, I just had a long conversation with a friend about it and while it was helpful, I immediately burst into tears after hanging up with him. She makes me feel like a failure, and always pulls the card "Well, I guess if I had done a better job raising you..." or "Maybe that's just my fault that you aren't _____". She never wants her children to suffer, but doesn't she realize how she contributes to the suffering sometimes? I guess not. She will never understand me, and that's something I need to accept.
+ My cell phone service was cancelled for a brief minute bkz I forgot to pay the bill. Oops. Now I have $15 in my bank account. Lovely. One more week til pay day.
Damnit, now I really wish that my good list was longer. It's hard to take one day at a time, when it seems that every day offers a new blow to the gut. Anyway, not to be a downer...I'm actually doing much better than this makes it seem. I just needed to rant. I also should do something productive with my life today, but I'm kinda feeling lethargic and lame.
Tomorrow is Friday. That's a plus I guess? Especially for those of you that work 9-5 M-F jobs.
Lady lights a cigarette, puffs away, no regret
Takes a look around, no regrets, no regrets
Stretches out like branches of a poplar tree
She says, I'm free
Sings so soft as if she'll break, says
I can sing this song so blue
That you will cry in spite of you
Little wet tears on your baby's shoulder ...
xox
The past few days have literally been like an emotional roller coaster ride for me...Upside down, round and round, loops and turns and gut wrenching drops paired with moments of sheer elation.
The good...
+ I got offered a new job. I will have a sweet new supervisor, be able to do something that actually will help me further experience for my long term goals of being a nurse. She said I have amazing energy. That's a pretty sweet compliment. I will hear back from her next week about salary agreements. The perks are pretty awesome: decent pay, INSURANCE, and flexible schedule. Hooray.
+ I slept well last night, which is really good bkz I haven't been sleeping well at all. It's hard for me to get used to sleeping next to someone new...and we don't exactly go to bed early most of the time.
+ In addition, he's pretty fucking awesome, still. Pinch me, please.
+ Dinner was delicious last night. I love home-cooked meal nights, and good talks, and laughing.
+ My toes are still tingling.
The ugly...
+ I wish I had more to put on the "good" list...but I guess tomorrow is a new day.
+ I've had a perpetual headache. Something tells me a good, sweaty yoga session will help with that...but the sheer motivation is lost today.
+ My current shitty employer cut two more of my days this week bkz we only have three clients. UGH. This information came yesterday, right before my interview...and this kind of gave me some motivation to really sell myself and be honest during the interview about what I was looking for, which I guess helped? It was also helpful to have some encouraging words from him. I am very much looking forward to being able to give a big FUCK YOU to my job, but unfortunately won't be able to really do it, since I will probably stay there and work a few shifts a month, if they still want to keep me.
+ My mom and I had a not-so-satisfying conversation earlier, that I've been dissecting in my head ever since, I just had a long conversation with a friend about it and while it was helpful, I immediately burst into tears after hanging up with him. She makes me feel like a failure, and always pulls the card "Well, I guess if I had done a better job raising you..." or "Maybe that's just my fault that you aren't _____". She never wants her children to suffer, but doesn't she realize how she contributes to the suffering sometimes? I guess not. She will never understand me, and that's something I need to accept.
+ My cell phone service was cancelled for a brief minute bkz I forgot to pay the bill. Oops. Now I have $15 in my bank account. Lovely. One more week til pay day.
Damnit, now I really wish that my good list was longer. It's hard to take one day at a time, when it seems that every day offers a new blow to the gut. Anyway, not to be a downer...I'm actually doing much better than this makes it seem. I just needed to rant. I also should do something productive with my life today, but I'm kinda feeling lethargic and lame.
Tomorrow is Friday. That's a plus I guess? Especially for those of you that work 9-5 M-F jobs.
Lady lights a cigarette, puffs away, no regret
Takes a look around, no regrets, no regrets
Stretches out like branches of a poplar tree
She says, I'm free
Sings so soft as if she'll break, says
I can sing this song so blue
That you will cry in spite of you
Little wet tears on your baby's shoulder ...
xox