This weekend has CRAWLED BY. Maybe it's because I spent 95% of my time at work, doing mindless and mind-numbing tasks, watching the minutes crawl by. I need a new job. Sometimes I question whether or not I can hack this.
Fear is a normal emotion. But lately I feel that I'm scared of EVERYTHING. I can't really describe that.
I picked up a note pad and a pen today and spilled my thoughts onto pages and pages of the pad. It's strange...for the first time in YEARS writing is finally effortless again. I used to write consistently, and it came easily and made me content and clear-headed. I feel like the inspiration has returned from its dark cave where it's been hibernating for the longest time. I hope this continues. I like bursts of creativity. Makes me feel accomplished which is good because the current mind numbing work situation has left me feeling a bit useless. I guess it's good that I was able to write today bkz my mind has been racing with so many thoughts for the past week, and I needed to sort them out. I've had a lot of time in my own head lately, and for the most part that can be dangerous, but enlightening at the same time.
I'm sad that I missed out on Kerry's birthday bash this weekend. Makes me feel like a bad friend.
My financial situation is daunting, and I'm wondering how it got this shitty. I know I'm not the only one in my boat, and my day tomorrow will be dedicated to trying to find other sources of income. And distracting myself from thinking about you, even though that's pretty impossible to fight at this point. I want it to be summer. I want hot, hazy nights spent out on the porch with cold beverages. I want to drive to the beach in the middle of the night listening to the ocean, and counting stars. I miss being able to see stars. I miss home, which is something I never thought I would say because I spent most of my life just wanting to run away from that place. But now being there doesn't exactly suck the life out of me like it used to. It for the most part brings me peace now.
I guess I'll share with you a bit of what I wrote tonight...Not sure if anyone is reading this though, but that's okay. I've missed blogging.
Fear is a normal emotion. But lately I feel that I'm scared of EVERYTHING. I can't really describe that.
I picked up a note pad and a pen today and spilled my thoughts onto pages and pages of the pad. It's strange...for the first time in YEARS writing is finally effortless again. I used to write consistently, and it came easily and made me content and clear-headed. I feel like the inspiration has returned from its dark cave where it's been hibernating for the longest time. I hope this continues. I like bursts of creativity. Makes me feel accomplished which is good because the current mind numbing work situation has left me feeling a bit useless. I guess it's good that I was able to write today bkz my mind has been racing with so many thoughts for the past week, and I needed to sort them out. I've had a lot of time in my own head lately, and for the most part that can be dangerous, but enlightening at the same time.
I'm sad that I missed out on Kerry's birthday bash this weekend. Makes me feel like a bad friend.

I guess I'll share with you a bit of what I wrote tonight...Not sure if anyone is reading this though, but that's okay. I've missed blogging.
halfjack:
awwwww. now there's a comment!