beautifulxalone

slowly but surely...

days go by and still i think of you -- days where i couldn't live my life w i t h o u t you...


i talked to justin online for the first time in awhile...we had a REAL conversation. just bullshitting about movies and books and life in general. he told me his parents were asking about me and i bit my lip the entire time...
he ended the conversation with "maybe i'll see you soon..."


maybe.

i talked to my mom yesterday and she tried to offer me positive thoughts...i couldn't help but notice the sadness in her voice tho when we spoke. i know she knows that i'm going thru a tough time...and she just wants me to pull thru it okay.
i have been doing everything in my power to make my life more positive. even tho i have no money and school is a wreck...i'm trying to keep my head up.

i just need to remember that time heals all wounds, and that 4 years ago, i never thought i'd be where i am now...even a year ago i thought that...and look how much i've changed. i realize now that it is never too late to change things around in my life...i just have to have the will. i can have the will without him around...it's just 10x harder it seems.

i look forward to the nights where i can go out with my girls and be carefree...i love my friends...they always keep me laughing with their silliness..

i just pray that i don't make any more bad decisions. i need to move forward, not regress.


xox.