So theres this guy that I was seeing last winter, and well instead of writing about all of it I'll simplify it--he was a compulsive liar, about where he lived, his job, his family and friends, i mean everything and anything you could think of he was lying about...not to mention that I was totally in love with him, (before i knew all the lies) and he sure made it obvious that he was totally in love with me to but would never make our relationship "official" ...he even lied to me and let his ex make harrassing calls to me among many other things...but yeah....
and for the longest time I kept giving in to his lies and his abuse, buying his stories, thinking maybe I was the one who was crazy, his mental abuse had control of me for a few months, and afterwards when I walked away I suffered a deep depression and all that shit, well then in the summer I rebounded and confronted him with the lies which he denied and made elaborate stories to confirm to me that he wasnt, and it was probably more of wanting to believe him than actually believing him but i became his friend again for a short while, but he eventually severed that to, and so i never really told him off i never told him how i felt i just walked away from the situation, you kno trying to be the better person and all that...
well its still bothered me, I mean I had to come to terms with the brainwashing, the lies, the fact that this person I loved so much was a LIE and that our whole relationship was a LIE...I guess you could say I went through all the stages of grief...Shock, Depression, Thinking what if He/I did something then Maybe it could work, than of course the Anger phase and thats where im in between--that part of the phase and the acceptance and moving on phase.
Well some things have happened to where hes been checking my myspace and my friends pages as well, he was talking crap about me, so I finally wrote all my feelings and thoughts down in a blog for him to read on my myspace...and it feels good, I feel like after this I can really just let go because I think a part of the reason why it felt so hard to let go is thinking that he never knew how i felt or how i was affected...but I feel really good now...
and its nice because I am dating a really great guy, the best one I've met so far, and he supports me through everything Ive been through and listens to me, inclu. all the shit I went through with that loser ex! It'll just be nice when the day comes that I dont think of him, don't focus on the pain, the day that I can really just feel free again...Im extremly close to that and thats why Im so happy right now...its like i finally am beginning to feel closure. now this has been over the course of a year....so it wasnt easy it was really hard i was fucked up severly at times, but i got through it all and im so different now and such a stronger person...
so anyways...im just going to keep rambling...haha...and god it started snowing yesterday =( ohio sucks. and im scared to drive in the snow cuz i got in an accident last winter driving in it! urrrg.
o well...lol fck it =)
and for the longest time I kept giving in to his lies and his abuse, buying his stories, thinking maybe I was the one who was crazy, his mental abuse had control of me for a few months, and afterwards when I walked away I suffered a deep depression and all that shit, well then in the summer I rebounded and confronted him with the lies which he denied and made elaborate stories to confirm to me that he wasnt, and it was probably more of wanting to believe him than actually believing him but i became his friend again for a short while, but he eventually severed that to, and so i never really told him off i never told him how i felt i just walked away from the situation, you kno trying to be the better person and all that...
well its still bothered me, I mean I had to come to terms with the brainwashing, the lies, the fact that this person I loved so much was a LIE and that our whole relationship was a LIE...I guess you could say I went through all the stages of grief...Shock, Depression, Thinking what if He/I did something then Maybe it could work, than of course the Anger phase and thats where im in between--that part of the phase and the acceptance and moving on phase.
Well some things have happened to where hes been checking my myspace and my friends pages as well, he was talking crap about me, so I finally wrote all my feelings and thoughts down in a blog for him to read on my myspace...and it feels good, I feel like after this I can really just let go because I think a part of the reason why it felt so hard to let go is thinking that he never knew how i felt or how i was affected...but I feel really good now...
and its nice because I am dating a really great guy, the best one I've met so far, and he supports me through everything Ive been through and listens to me, inclu. all the shit I went through with that loser ex! It'll just be nice when the day comes that I dont think of him, don't focus on the pain, the day that I can really just feel free again...Im extremly close to that and thats why Im so happy right now...its like i finally am beginning to feel closure. now this has been over the course of a year....so it wasnt easy it was really hard i was fucked up severly at times, but i got through it all and im so different now and such a stronger person...
so anyways...im just going to keep rambling...haha...and god it started snowing yesterday =( ohio sucks. and im scared to drive in the snow cuz i got in an accident last winter driving in it! urrrg.
o well...lol fck it =)
micah:
Ohio sucks the balls of ball-sucking monkeys.