beautiful

I mostly find inspiration in every day life. Everyone has their own life story filled with severe ups and downs, yet they continue to push on. It brings out of them all a different way of looking at life and the art they create from that is the biggest inspiration. To turn something ugly into something beautiful. To spread that beauty as love.. that pushes me to create my own art. To turn the horrors in my life into something beautiful, to spread love and understanding as much as I can.

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The whole “social suicide” of being different, decorating my body in a way that I feel is beautiful no matter what society thinks has helped me to be more patient with others, to see from their point of view, and walk in their shoes for a bit. I think of this during shoots, to emote certain perspectives and express myself in different ways as much as I can. When you feel it, it shows.

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I would say art as a whole, as to encompass everything I do to express myself. I like to try different things, not sticking to just one area of art.

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Meditation is definitely a must for me. I have a hard time shutting my brain off, so I like to take breaks to just sit and immerse myself in music, focusing on the sounds each instrument makes. It helps me to step away from my worries and let go for a bit. Baths and face masks are really wonderful too. Just putting on music that relaxes you and focusing on yourself is important for your mental health.

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At the culmination of getting ready, after putting on my shoes, I like to stand in front of the mirror and soak it all in. Being socially anxious, I like to gas myself up as much as I can by “adjusting my crown” if you will.

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There are so many ways that I can praise SG for what they have done for me. Before finding SG, I was just that weirdo who modeled on occasion. It wasn’t until I found SG that I found my family and community of fellow weirdos and outcasts. SG embraced me with open arms gave me a place to express myself in a way that made me feel confident and special. SG was the first community to adjust my crown and show me that I was strong, and that I had it in me to accomplish whatever I worked towards. I am who I am because SG gave me the outlet to be me.

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Growing up, it was incredibly difficult to get modeling jobs unless you “looked normal” and even before the tattoos, I had a different look than what they considered normal. When I became a Hopeful for SG, it was like another door opened for me. I was suddenly getting work because I was even remotely affiliated with SG. It wasn’t just the community that fit me, it was the art I was able to create.

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QUESTIONS FROM MEMBERS :

@kremo1 asked Any cool hobbies your into?

Since pandemic I have been working with a talent agency that has me promoting various apps with streaming. Since starting that, I have been honing in on my artistic skills with art. I started with pencil sketches and now I’m doing water colors. I also do a lot of photography and have even shot some sets that you can see in my SG folder. ❤️

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@pewo62 asked How are you doing atm?

I really appreciate you asking. It’s been such a rough year already with this cancer. My heart is starting to feel the effects of long term chemo and has been doing weird things. I’m about to have to wear a heart monitor for almost a month so they can see how to handle what happens going forward.

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@niffler asked What’s your favorite tattoo on your body? Or if you don’t have a favorite, what’s the most interesting back story to one of your tattoos?

I love this question because I get to also raise awareness. My favorite tattoo is Gilbert, the bat on my neck. He is real, a rescue from Queensland, Australia who’s whole life I have followed and donated for surgeries and rehabilitation. He’s a grey headed flying fox, one of the many species of bats that are extremely integral to the continuation of our environment and ecosystem. They pollinate in mass quantities, more so than bees, and also can eat over 1000 mosquitoes in an hour. Not only are they incredibly cute, but they are so sweet and watching them get fruit drunk is just precious. Truly my favorite animal ever. 🖤

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@thanatoz asked What's the movie you feel is base in your life?

Not just a film, but a series of books: Flowers in the Attic. Since I was a kid, I have identified with the Dollanganger series, even my SG name is a combination of my middle name and the poison the children were given.