I'm double dipping two @bloghomework topics from @missy, @lyxzen, and @rambo in this post! What's your best quality x What's your confidence boosting secret weapon?
These past few weeks have been extremely tiring and trying, and it's been no ones job but my own to bring myself out of my funk. I have a lot of time stuck in my own head, which isn't always a good thing. With my depression an anxiety, I often find myself stuck on such little things because I can't even begin to focus on the large things at times. One thing I've started doing is coming up with at least three good qualities to defy the negativity. Happiness is something I not only want for myself, but for anyone around me. Even when I feel lost, I find myself always working towards being happy. I wouldn't be able to identify "happiness" as one of my best qualities without my other ones, though. As much as I wish I could be a comedian, I know my jokes usually end up more awkward than entertaining, but that spirals into the next joke, the next conversation, the next smile. It's such a confidence booster to realize whatever I did in that moment, made their moment. That's one reason why I enjoy working behind the scenes to create music, live sound, or photos. Someone will enjoy what I produce, and if that calms their nerves or makes them smile or laugh and they can find enjoyment in their moment because of something I made or helped make, than I know I succeeded in what I did.
But, of course, I'd be lying if I didn't talk about any of my physical qualities that I enjoy (and enjoy sharing with the SG community!), and of course boost my confidence because I am proud of them: my ass and my smile. When I'm by myself, I usually always have a case of RBF, but get me around my friends or a great show and I feel on top of the world. I hate my teeth because I fucked up on wearing my retainer after braces, and I drink so much coffee I just have a constant fear that I have nasty looking teeth. However, when I smile when I'm crying or sad, I can feel myself boosting myself up.
Whenever I feel sad, I like to play with my butt. Not in the way I'm sure is going through everyone's mind reading this at the moment, but still in a way everyone can enjoy (while still being SFW!). I personally, find my ass to be of a decent size. Of course I wish it was bigger, but I am so happy for what I have for a little white girl. I always have to make the decision on if I want my pants to fit my ass, or my waist. I can't buy bikinis as a set, but have to find and try on multiple kinds. In high school, my best friend had tits, and would always try to bring me down because I was flat chested and "ass doesn't count, because a guy can't see it when you face him". I still remember the day we took a poll of every guy we could find in between classes on boobs or ass: my ass won by a landslide. Ever since then, I started learning to just love myself for who I was. It was high school, so of course I was concerned by what others thought of me back then, but learning to love the small, large, flabby, and cellulitey parts of my body did the most amazing thing for boosting my confidence: to just do me. Loving myself (mostly my ass) has given me the best confidence.
There is literally nothing more empowering than loving yourself, which is why I wanted to put these two topics together in one blog post. Even your best quality and confidence boosters can be drowned out by your own doubts and worries, but finding that one thing to love about yourself can grow and grow and you won't even know what to do with all that awesomeness exploding out of you.
Bonus confidence boosting secret weapon: My eyeliner. I grew up a tomboy, and instead of playing dolls and house with all the other girls, I'd play Sonic the Hedgehog and Pokemon with the boys. I remember the first time I got a makeup kit for Christmas, and I cried because I was so offended. Like, bitches what? I have no time between becoming a Pokemon master and saving the woodland critters from Dr. Eggman for glittery eyelids and putting sticky stuff on my lips! Then, high school came around, and avoiding makeup was doing me no good. Not to mention, the year before I fell in love with the emo scene, so hello raccoon eyes and pink eyelids. The older I got, the more I realized that makeup isn't for looking good for other people, but to feel good for yourself. I started to master the cat eye in college, and I don't think I look right without having my wings. It amazes me that some people still believe boys are the only reason girls wear makeup. It's for the same reason we wear clothes: we want to feel good for ourselves, and for other girls, because boys don't compliment you like girls do when you look great 😉
xoxo, Beats
BONUS BONUS confidence boosting secret weapon:
