beatrice

man oh man. so many people died in the past 3 days; it's been crazy busy at work. i'm so glad my week's over.
i did have big plans this weekend: my friend e was going to come visit, i was going to go snowboarding with the girls, now nothing. e cancelled at the last minute as she's prone to do, and nobody wants to go to the mountain because the weather is supposed to be so bad. t's parents are in town til monday so it's unlikely i'll get to see him.
i had this crummy dream about s the night before last. it involved a lot of rejection and i believed i called him a fucking prick. the worst part was when i woke up and thought about it, at it's core it's pretty true to life. that left me in a lousy mood all day. it's still kind of lingering. s used to be the guy i could always count on to come through for me. i guess it's been too many years. he's the only person i regularly dream about, and they're always such good dreams, leaving me feeling so happy the next day. this is the first bad one. my subconscious is trying to tell me to move on i think.
i'm so exhausted.