So there's my friends from high school. Best friends going on 14 years now. There's Mike (who we call Aardvark), Marc, and Bill. I used to think there was nothing I wouldn't do for any one of them but it seems I was wrong. Bill's an acoholic. At first, I didn't see it as clearly as everyone else. I'm the only one who left. They all stayed on Staten Island and get to experience his behavior first hand.
You know, scratch that. I've known for a long time he's an alcoholic, and I just never wanted to admit it.
Well, last night I got to see Bill in all his drunken glory and it was at the same time the most infuriating and the most heart breaking thing I've ever seen. I can't justify ever going out drinking with him again because that just supports his behavior.
The thing I can't do for him is just sit by and watch him kill himself. I've got to turn my back on him because it's the only way I can think of to try and convince him that he has a problem and that he needs to get help.
When we were kids, I idolized him. I was the shy, quiet nerd. I never talked to anyone. People didn't even know I existed in high school. Billy was the outgoing one. The funny one. The guy that got along with everyone, no matter what clique they were in. Even me. The fact that he was my friend meant so much to me, and so much of who I am now I owe to him.
He and Aardvark called me tonight to go meet them at a bar. Aardvark never helps the situation. He's almost as bad a drunk as Bill. They'd clearly been drinking for a few hours already. I told them I was going to take a pass. I feel like such a traitor. I mean, they're my friends. Whatever their faults, I love each of them. I'm an only child. These guys are the closest thing I'll ever have to brothers and the thought that I've got to cut them out of my life breaks my heart but I don't know what else to do.
"We are two brothers forever through the dark and light. We had our fights against ourselves, against eachother. There's nothing left to do but to kiss that life good-bye. Good-bye."
How do you say good-bye to someone you thought would be in your life forever?
You know, scratch that. I've known for a long time he's an alcoholic, and I just never wanted to admit it.
Well, last night I got to see Bill in all his drunken glory and it was at the same time the most infuriating and the most heart breaking thing I've ever seen. I can't justify ever going out drinking with him again because that just supports his behavior.
The thing I can't do for him is just sit by and watch him kill himself. I've got to turn my back on him because it's the only way I can think of to try and convince him that he has a problem and that he needs to get help.
When we were kids, I idolized him. I was the shy, quiet nerd. I never talked to anyone. People didn't even know I existed in high school. Billy was the outgoing one. The funny one. The guy that got along with everyone, no matter what clique they were in. Even me. The fact that he was my friend meant so much to me, and so much of who I am now I owe to him.
He and Aardvark called me tonight to go meet them at a bar. Aardvark never helps the situation. He's almost as bad a drunk as Bill. They'd clearly been drinking for a few hours already. I told them I was going to take a pass. I feel like such a traitor. I mean, they're my friends. Whatever their faults, I love each of them. I'm an only child. These guys are the closest thing I'll ever have to brothers and the thought that I've got to cut them out of my life breaks my heart but I don't know what else to do.
"We are two brothers forever through the dark and light. We had our fights against ourselves, against eachother. There's nothing left to do but to kiss that life good-bye. Good-bye."
How do you say good-bye to someone you thought would be in your life forever?