I've only been to a couple funerals in my life. We didn't have any sort of service when my dad passed away a little over a year ago, because my family hasn't ever been big on tradition, and we really didn't feel up to it. The last service I attended was when I was 11 or 12, and I wasn't at all close to the person whose service it was.
But last week, the father of one of my best friends (who I've known since pre-school and been good friends with for about 14 years) passed away. It was pretty sudden they'd just found out a few weeks ago that he had advanced stage liver cancer. I've been a bit distant from them since I moved to Long Beach, but this is the family who not only allowed me to have my wrecked car towed to their house and parked in their driveway after my accident a couple years ago (see my "most humbling moment"), but insisted that I spend that Thanksgiving (the first after my divorce) with them instead of on the beach eating Taco Bell alone, as was my plan. I've spent many holidays with them over the years, and my friend Shannon was also my roommate for three years. Her dad treated me like a son.
I didn't realize how much his passing would affect me until the service began, and people started getting up to talk about him. My role, I thought, would be to help comfort my friend and her family. Up until that point, I had experienced his death sort of by proxy. It's kind of hard to explain, really. But when everyone started talking about him, it really hit me just how much he actually meant to me. He had his share of faults, but he really was one of the most generous, accepting people I've ever met.
After the reception, we went back to the family home, drank a couple beers, talked a lot, and watched some basketball. He was a rabid UCLA fan, and the UCLA game was on. I'm not particularly into basketball, but watching the NCAA playoffs (which just began) is a tradition in their family. The act of watching games with them is far more enjoyable than simply watching the games. It was fitting that the game was on tonight, and it didn't matter that they lost, as the outcome didn't matter as much as being there.
bean.
PS. Don't worry, I'm not really sad or anything. I got all of that out at the service. I just really needed to write down what I felt today.
But last week, the father of one of my best friends (who I've known since pre-school and been good friends with for about 14 years) passed away. It was pretty sudden they'd just found out a few weeks ago that he had advanced stage liver cancer. I've been a bit distant from them since I moved to Long Beach, but this is the family who not only allowed me to have my wrecked car towed to their house and parked in their driveway after my accident a couple years ago (see my "most humbling moment"), but insisted that I spend that Thanksgiving (the first after my divorce) with them instead of on the beach eating Taco Bell alone, as was my plan. I've spent many holidays with them over the years, and my friend Shannon was also my roommate for three years. Her dad treated me like a son.
I didn't realize how much his passing would affect me until the service began, and people started getting up to talk about him. My role, I thought, would be to help comfort my friend and her family. Up until that point, I had experienced his death sort of by proxy. It's kind of hard to explain, really. But when everyone started talking about him, it really hit me just how much he actually meant to me. He had his share of faults, but he really was one of the most generous, accepting people I've ever met.
After the reception, we went back to the family home, drank a couple beers, talked a lot, and watched some basketball. He was a rabid UCLA fan, and the UCLA game was on. I'm not particularly into basketball, but watching the NCAA playoffs (which just began) is a tradition in their family. The act of watching games with them is far more enjoyable than simply watching the games. It was fitting that the game was on tonight, and it didn't matter that they lost, as the outcome didn't matter as much as being there.
bean.
PS. Don't worry, I'm not really sad or anything. I got all of that out at the service. I just really needed to write down what I felt today.
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(and it was really great meeting you and i look forward to future ventures.)