bcoskin

I don't think anyone got around to reading the last post or two but shit keeps happening so I gotta keep writing. I'm bored and it's on my mind. This journal stuff helps clear it up.

So some good stuff has happened and some problems have also arisen. I spent Saturday night with Sarah and everyone else and we all had a really good time. We spent a lot of alone time outside smoking and talking. I felt kinda bad leavin' everyone inside but I'm sure they understood. At the end of the night I told Sarah I was really glad she got to come out, and that I thought she was really great. We kissed and then parted ways for the night.

Well I got to talk to her the next day once I got home, and we spent a good deal of the day talking to each other about this and that. The most important thing we talked about though was us, and what was going to happen. I wish it was as simple as two people liking each other but she's very frusterated and worried that she will hurt me. She's been with guys before and she says she has a terrible habbit of breaking up a month or so in for the stupidest reasons. She says she never sees it coming and it always just hurts the guy. It isn't a line to push me away because she wants to be with me as much as I want to be with her. She just feels very guilty and worried that she'll mess it up like she has the others, and feels very pessimistic about it. Well that scares me too, because usually if you expect something bad to happen it will. I want to be with her regardless of the risk, because I would be even more hurt if I didn't try. It's just not the perfect day I thought it would be. Nothing ever is... so I'll take it for what it is and appreciate it anyway. I've yet to talk to her today, I'm sure she's still in school. Now that we've slept on it I'm sure we'll both feel a lot better, and within a week or so I want to officially make her my girl. Wish me luck.