Saturday Sep 10, 2005

0
some say life is too long,
some say deserts are storms,

long live, lassos and pie,
strong live stoveless and dry,

some say winters are just friends,
fair weathered kids and kittens,
taste, bites, talons and primes,
just law likened land,
just one kind, from wind to wine,
sand, gusts, trapped in town,

suburbia

Thursday Jul 07, 2005

0
what a lowercase absent
highly tapping
an uppercut drumline

pours on me
this little half-tempo
left phone heartbeat
one box two speed

what a cowering shortcut
missprint:
why thank you! At this point I'm a bit worried that I'll never finish it. robot
luciefurr:
Happy Birthday kiss

Thursday May 05, 2005

0
climbed on board, a new england steam shovel
crossed the union lines
one less machine aged crime
god i used to love you
godless, stoned, and spinning
throw the last boulder...
crushed, boned, dry
forehead met spine
I wish this mangled mess
was not always mine.

Tuesday Mar 08, 2005

0
i have never saved an ounce or a dime
if only one may be less in mind
a casket braved is the only time
comfort delayed but for a few
more smiles
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
topaz:
Don't worry, I got it. wink What's new, sparky?
clairevoyance:
kiss

Saturday Jan 29, 2005

0
in case you're wondering
it's not real

it never even came close
as plastic sheilds
foddered away
long lost symptoms
lunged in
deep batter
waiting in sodder
medal so rotten
in drips

Friends forgotten
topaz:
Still hybernating? I am getting out tonight for the first time in a while. Hope things are going well! Let me know how your office romance turned out. kiss

Saturday Dec 25, 2004

0
friends wth blessed
and dry breathes
exhaling powdered lungs
holiday season heard
i wish all so much
at least with one less word

Friday Dec 10, 2004

0
I guess it is as easy as we all thought...
some people might not have guessed such,
and I feel sad for that,

but not guilty, just empathetic.

Holding back pride,
when others need to hold back fears.
Oh well
we all die...
some can't wait.
topaz:
I am also often accused of being overanalytical... Living in the moment is so much easier said than done.
I haven't quite graduated (I have one class next semester) but I'm going to start cosmetology school in CH anyway. I should be moving in about a week or so.
Good luck on everything...

Sunday Nov 28, 2004

0
so careless
long ago, there was, very little of all this
double click, forget this,
one foot, missed '

i can't feel brave anymore
i just wish women were solid throats
and men were unearthed tones
and songs were just left of white noise

ringing, hollow metals
i miss you so much
if my ears could weep they would
topaz:
Thanks! How are things going with your work situation? kiss

Friday Oct 22, 2004

0
I wish men could shed like serpents
or
i could tack my skin to this me, that swims inside.
i feel like i am floating away encased in an organic human starfish
sadly- like a poorly made sausage with cancerous flesh tied with some sort of divine intestinal pig casing-
and yet I am forever hopeful of the air around me--once I get out...possibly next...
Read More
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
topaz:
I know I know. I SAID I was retarded! But he makes me happy. And I'm moving back to CH in January so I can't make it a long term thing anyway. And after J told me he had been wildly fucking this new girl it turns out he was lying the whole time and now all he wants is to get me back. I might be rebelling a little blush
Is it totally ridiculous and trite? Maybe... but see my post inprodigalsaint's journal for a better understanding of why I'm crazy about this guy...
how are things in your world?
topaz:
I always love how considerate and well thought out your posts are. And I agree w/ you on...well... just about everything. I also really appreciate how you kinda see through all my bullshit to the root of the issue. You're absolutely right, I am learning how to be taken care of. I was having dinner with a friend of mine tonight, who was visiting from out of town. She was asking me about fluffyboy and when I had finished talking she just sat there and smiled. She couldn't believe that the same girl who had run from every decent relationship ever was talking about a man this way.
As for your problem. Shit. I have never been in an even slightly similar situation so I certainly can't speak with empathy or from experience. Also, I don't know either one of you or the nature of your relationship so it's quite difficult to make any assumptions. The only advice I can give you is this: Enjoy the ride. That's what I'm learning right now. Is that possible? Can you just truly enjoy the time that you spend with her w/o any expectations or demands? Literally, just enjoying her company? Because it sounds like you see this ending at some point in the not too distant future... and that there is only so much of yourself that you can give her considering your current emotional situation... and you don't want to quit your job. Which leaves you at a bit of an impasse. So that is the only advice I really know. ENJOY her and live fully in the moment, just appreciating what the experience has to offer. Expectations, in my humble opinion, are the downfall of most relationships. Try not to plan or assume. Just experience. And when something specific comes up, try to deal with it with the same perspective... "hey, I'm enjoying this experience but (fill in the blank) so here are my options."
Good luck and feel free to IM me or e-mail me if you want to give me more specifics to work with. kiss

Wednesday Oct 13, 2004

0
the first time let down
since the last
is always the worse
favors for favors
who would lime the lime

its much to clear now to do anything about it
just let this slide
I need some kinda help
I know the kind of assistance
but I can't talk about it anymore
karebeer:
smile beautiful words..
i like yer profile pic too! stewie rocks my socks! (and thats a whole lot, cuz i have a collection going - of like 80sumthin pairs.. im SUCH a nerd.) kiss
topaz:
I agree, Carrboro rocks much harder than CH... I honestly think that Chapel Thrill used to be cooler.
Yes, I love love dirty dancing. Is it a cinematic masterpiece? No. Is it hilarious, quotable, and loads of fun? Yes! It's campy brilliance, IMHO.
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