bbbbbeckah

All right.

So I told Jason how I felt about things tonight.
Now everything is kind of just, up in the air.
We're friends.

I feel bad, really bad.
but at the same time I feel really good.

I've never been able to express my opinions..
my feelings.. etc as well as I have been.

I like Jason, a lot.
But I think I only like him so much because he's comfortable.
He treats me really well, takes care of me.

Theres so much more to relationships then just that.
Sure, it's important. But I need to know what he thinks.
I want to know how he feels or what's going on in his head.

I can't devote all of my time and spend every night with him.
When we don't even have something solid.

My heart hurts.
But at the same time I'm excited to know that I'm capable of holding a healthy relationship with another person and comfortable enough to know what I'm feeling to be able to share it.

It's not what he wants. I don't want to pressure him.
but I'm not gonna drag along behind him.
I gotta live my life. If someone else comes along. Rad.
If not.. who really fucking cares?

We'll see what happens.
Until then, I'm just gonna be me and keep rockin.

I'm not playing games with life.

-3@