What if life were more like soft core porn?
Oh sweet sweet, late night cable TV. Where a cutie batootie couple can go away to a hotel, and after some heaving and steamy groping and gasping, with bad jazz; magically red areolas and nipples; a distinct lack of body hair on the male, and nary any super naughty appearances of the one-eyed snake or the man in the boat, the plot unfolds! Wherein, lover boy usually strays, (cut to another steamy scene with the same use of camera angles and bad jazz, only with the dangerous girl) and is caught. So the lover girl runs off but is rescued by dangerous girl's bad-boy. Is it revenge sex? Is it to remind her that she's lovely? Is it more bad jazz? But shortly thereafter lover girl and lover boy re-unite for the ending montage of cut scenes, gasping, and a life lived 'happily ever after' This mad-libs plot has many a 'twist' where sometimes it is two girls, or two girls and a boy. (Showtime and the like don't appear to have two boys alone or with a girl... part of that I'm sure is the improbability of actually getting any footage without a schlong getting in the shot)
Bordello's are super elegant places of wondrous magic where people who have lost their love for their relationships find it again (usually after tasting forbidden sweetness), but all is OK in the end! love-making on a beach doesn't result in uncomfortable sand. Everyone's Body Mass Index would be much improved, but there would also be a lot more fake breasts everywhere. Candles would magically light themselves. Getting out of clothes would be this wondrous snap. And there wouldn't have to be any fumbling around for condoms. And even if condom weren't used, there wouldn't be any mess after. And a good side effect would be that everyone would know how to orally please each other.
Maud: You can imagine where it goes from here.
The Dude: He fixes the cable?
Oh sweet sweet, late night cable TV. Where a cutie batootie couple can go away to a hotel, and after some heaving and steamy groping and gasping, with bad jazz; magically red areolas and nipples; a distinct lack of body hair on the male, and nary any super naughty appearances of the one-eyed snake or the man in the boat, the plot unfolds! Wherein, lover boy usually strays, (cut to another steamy scene with the same use of camera angles and bad jazz, only with the dangerous girl) and is caught. So the lover girl runs off but is rescued by dangerous girl's bad-boy. Is it revenge sex? Is it to remind her that she's lovely? Is it more bad jazz? But shortly thereafter lover girl and lover boy re-unite for the ending montage of cut scenes, gasping, and a life lived 'happily ever after' This mad-libs plot has many a 'twist' where sometimes it is two girls, or two girls and a boy. (Showtime and the like don't appear to have two boys alone or with a girl... part of that I'm sure is the improbability of actually getting any footage without a schlong getting in the shot)
Bordello's are super elegant places of wondrous magic where people who have lost their love for their relationships find it again (usually after tasting forbidden sweetness), but all is OK in the end! love-making on a beach doesn't result in uncomfortable sand. Everyone's Body Mass Index would be much improved, but there would also be a lot more fake breasts everywhere. Candles would magically light themselves. Getting out of clothes would be this wondrous snap. And there wouldn't have to be any fumbling around for condoms. And even if condom weren't used, there wouldn't be any mess after. And a good side effect would be that everyone would know how to orally please each other.
Maud: You can imagine where it goes from here.
The Dude: He fixes the cable?
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo:
Simply delicious - they are the perfect pet. A companion and a tasty meal all in one.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo:
I should point out that my previous comment is a reply to BB's comment on my blog regarding cuttlefish. However, I am sure it is equally applicable to porn artistes.