I'm getting right royally pissed off with the three muppets i share a flat with. One, two or even all three seem to be hogging bandwidth to such an extent that its taking 3 mins plus to load pages. I have to wait until early hours of the morning to even think about playing poker online as it's impossible otherwise. I know for definite that one downloads torrents all the time, leaving it on when here's out, the fucktard. One other must do it too as it was bad when it was just three of us, but nothing like now. The lack of work and money is starting to drive me crazy and little things are becoming bigger problems. I'm applying for around 5 jobs a week and re-applying for another 5 a week. Am i so unemployable?
Moving on before i throw my TV out the window for poor reception, my nephew is starting to look really like me. It's funny gazing at photos of me at that age and him now, we're identical. He's becoming more like a little boy and less like a small monkey every day but i still daren't hold him. He struggles too much and i panic, he's only 10lbs. Once he gets a bit bigger i will.
I have to get into the habit of turning the computer off more while I'm in here, enabling me to think a little clearer. Once I'm in bed and laying in the dark i get so many thoughts and ideas, but once I'm in bed i need sleep. I have ideas for different things to write, lyrics, poems, short stories and comedy sketches. Sometimes I'm so preoccupied with trying to stave off negativity it's hard to do the simple things like eat and sleep. But i must say, that even though it does take a lot of effort, i feel better about my outlook. Perhaps because it's only really effecting me now. There isn't anyone else to suffer the frustration and anger that comes with motivation and stability issues. I'm gonna have a tough few weeks as I've over spent wildly and have to make rent. Meaning I'll have next too no money for food til possible March. I'll be able to make two short trips back home possible and really stock up on 12p tins of beans and hoops. It'll be OK, there's hundreds of documentaries online to pass away the hours of inactivity and hibernation. And if i actually managed to land a job then i'll be able to get a small loan from someone to tide me over til payday. IF.
Speaking of TV, I've only recently got into 30 Rock and i love it. Got the 1st and 2nd series box-set and been through it about four times. Now halfway through season 3 and i can't get enough of it. I've sat with people who don't find it that funny due to a lot of American references but I'm fairly aware of most of them and i love the type of smart political/sociological humour. Plus Tina Fey is fit and Alec Baldwin is brilliant.
I think thats enough. I usually like to end on a song. I walk around with this in my head alot.