So I have not had the best couple of days since my last journal update. A ton of seperate but unpleasant circumstances and incidents have darkened an already murky mood.
To start, I still haven't found a roomie yet. People show up, they look and then they leave. I know I shouldn't take it personally, but still, I do feel like a loser when no one calls back.. Plus I really don't want to pay for this place by myself. And what if I want to go to school? I won't be working as much so I'll need someone for sure At this point I'll take anyone who figured out their shoes on the first try.
Speaking of school, I got a good look at the MCPHS application. I am so in over my head. I haven't written an essay in forever. I don't know how to even start. This shouldn't be a big deal, but it is. Why do I do this, make a mountain out of a molehill I mean? I know once I get in I'll do well, but I have to get in first right?
I am also leaving the EMT field I think. AMR didn't seem to care that much either. I am just a per diem employee after all. I still feel like a loser though. We had a blue-baby the other day, just before the blizzard. A little 9 week old boy. We were running in when one of the jakes told us he was DOA. We still had to work him though which SUCKED!! I swear, giving CPR to a dead baby is just wrong. I wish I could just say " Sorry lady, but this is one dead kid" and call it a night. This job has made me more of a dick that's for sure. The mom didn't speak any English, so I was freaking out Mike by saying crazy shit in front of her. We were both in back, and we had a jake driving us to BH. Motherfucker took his time too, probably wanted to stay off=truck as much as possible. Lazy shit. So mike and I were in the back with the mom, who kept wailing in Spanish. Understandable, but absoultely maddening in such an enclosed space. Mike was getting steamed too. Although I don't know why seeing how I was doing all the work. All he had to do is call C-MED. I need to get out of there that's for sure.
Anyway, that's enough whining for today. Off to repost on Craigslist. Fuckers.
To start, I still haven't found a roomie yet. People show up, they look and then they leave. I know I shouldn't take it personally, but still, I do feel like a loser when no one calls back.. Plus I really don't want to pay for this place by myself. And what if I want to go to school? I won't be working as much so I'll need someone for sure At this point I'll take anyone who figured out their shoes on the first try.
Speaking of school, I got a good look at the MCPHS application. I am so in over my head. I haven't written an essay in forever. I don't know how to even start. This shouldn't be a big deal, but it is. Why do I do this, make a mountain out of a molehill I mean? I know once I get in I'll do well, but I have to get in first right?
I am also leaving the EMT field I think. AMR didn't seem to care that much either. I am just a per diem employee after all. I still feel like a loser though. We had a blue-baby the other day, just before the blizzard. A little 9 week old boy. We were running in when one of the jakes told us he was DOA. We still had to work him though which SUCKED!! I swear, giving CPR to a dead baby is just wrong. I wish I could just say " Sorry lady, but this is one dead kid" and call it a night. This job has made me more of a dick that's for sure. The mom didn't speak any English, so I was freaking out Mike by saying crazy shit in front of her. We were both in back, and we had a jake driving us to BH. Motherfucker took his time too, probably wanted to stay off=truck as much as possible. Lazy shit. So mike and I were in the back with the mom, who kept wailing in Spanish. Understandable, but absoultely maddening in such an enclosed space. Mike was getting steamed too. Although I don't know why seeing how I was doing all the work. All he had to do is call C-MED. I need to get out of there that's for sure.
Anyway, that's enough whining for today. Off to repost on Craigslist. Fuckers.
thelibra:
hey, you should join us, here!