bashster

He climbs the stairs very fast thinking thinking to himself its gonna happen its finally gonna happen,he enters the bathroom shes there in the corner room ,he takes no prisoners marches up to his goal undos his belt ,unbuttons his trousers,pull down his zip,his trousers fall to the floor in a zigged zagged pile,he thumbs the corners of his stripey underpants before pulling them over his naked ass they to fall on top of his trousers in a somewhat stripey flower pattern.He then lowers himself onto his prize asset ,his throne ,his domain,hes lets out a alimighty groan as his muscles contract pushing pushing finally a sigh of relief and its over,contentment spreads across his face.

So its BANK HOLIDAY WEEKEND this for all those canucks and yankies is where we get Monday off so we can dress up like gay bastards go and dance round a pole which looks like a stick of candy while waving hakercheifs and ringing bells attached to out feet and hands.The pole is a MAYPOLE the dickwads that dance round it are morris dancers(secret gay blokes or aging hippy retards).I think this day should be renamed gay day instead of may day.If i had my way we would celebrate the lapdancing pole day instead and we would all see our loved ones pole dance to honour it sounds good.

So i have the task in installing THE BASHSTER POND EROSSA.This is where the fishy bishys are going to live.I have decided to let my sg chumz name my fish so i want some originaility,my mate Pete has a duck and a chicken their called crispy and nuggets.

Work has been a hectic blast this week the boss wasn,t happy with me defacing a van to spell a naughty word im frickin wicked


I also ran a customer over i didn,t check the car was out of gear i will tell a lie it was a van and it was two people moral of the story don,t have your head under the hood when starting a vehicle whoops you will be glad to here the gents only recieved oily heads lol.
I have had some weird fuckin dreams this week,i dreamt that i was walking on a river bank when a barge floats past with some sassy looking female travellers who offered me a float to the next town.They play panpiles while the girls put flowers in my hair.We arrive at my destination i get off the baddge walk up the street and notice a new age hippy dude who apporaches me and asks for a light then i get zapped in the back by a electric stun gun i end up on the floor wriggling as they rob me.At this point i awoke the bottom of my back still hurts two days after the dream and i shook a bit in bed so chrissy says.
What does this dream mean???.I tell you what it means don,t trust any fucker with a hankerchief tied round her head wearing one of them tie dyed skirts.IM AFRAID OF HIPPYS KNOW!!!!


HEROES AND ZEROES

Heroes 1st

RATM Back at last
chomper BAck and a slimmer peice of hot ass
odour eaters my feet are less smelly
the pink spiders My new fave band

Zeroes

CHAVS Man i saw a car full of the baseballhatwearing,kappatracksuited,goldringedand chainedscouselookingknuckleheads in a chavmobile usually a classic 80,s car with loadsa pimp my ride bling on it.Guess what it was a VAUXHALL CAVILIER now nicknamed a CHAVILIER
DEATHDODGER
My gran and old people piss me off on the perception whats right and wrong.My crinkled chopped gran slated chrissy last week and im still a bit angry about it.Tonight in the supermarket i bought a NANN BREAD which i made into a misesrable mouth peiced shape and told chrissy what you done with your hair,i got some strange looks when i paid.So cheer up all old farts

david hasselhoff

It breaks my heart to see old dave a legend in the bashsters dreams lying on the bathroom floor pissed outta of his falsetanned skull while his daughter mocks him.poor dave a legend to a leg end i guess.

as usual finally i have vented my spleen and my ass all over this page.
enjoy a wholesome weekend of fun,frolic,fame,foogleknackers,fornication and felching if your lucky!!!!

whoooooooooooooooosh bye