bashster

Deck the halls with bows of holly fal la la lar la lar lar lar .Is the season to be fucked off being stuck in traffic jams galore when i have worked 11 hours and i can,t get home for christmas shopper.
God i,m the fuckin christmas grinch,Jack Skeleton on scrooge rolled into one lol .
I gotto admit i will bestow some advice after i got handed a leaflet a christmas checklist for christmas from Wallmart(south park haven,t killed this one yet).
The list contained the following
sellotape(Thats the stuff that sticks together and thank fuck i only use once or twice a year to wrap presents up with!!!.
Christmas paper-durrrrrrrr as if i was gonna forget that!!
The usual paper plates,turkey,crackers etc etc etc

I have wrote my own christmas checklist
BUY FUCK ALL
GOTO PARENTS AND IN LAWS
EAT ALL THEIR FOOD
DRINK ALL THEIR BOOZE
HEY DON,T SPEND A THING.Wallmart fuck your list up your ASDA asshole!!!.

So i took my sister to cost co yesterday we had a great time i got caught by a women writng ANAL RAPIST on a whiteboard they had on display.My brother in law topped this by loading the trolley with 300 durex and 20 tubes of ky jelly getting some very funny looks.
I went back saw my nephew smelly pants and whooped his ass at darts hubba bubba but... the little get tired the bashster out so after the x factor last night i hit the hay very very early.

I had a awesome week back at work barking orders ,delivering classic one liners to fuckwit customers which include(the old,the weak,and women all that no fuck all about cars my classic quote to this womens plea for a car back for christmas was....i want beyonce knowles under my christmas try also but like your car it ain,t gonna happen.I women brought another car back for a brake light out at the rear when we did the front she argued the toss i ....well tossed her off lol hey hey i love my job for christmas i want a light saber to cut some of these dumb fuckers heads off that wanna tell me how to do my job lol.

I did manage a couple of fantastic pranks when i got back these are described below!!

PRANK1 HOW TO LOSE A CAR?????

So one half of dumb n dumber has loaned out a courtesy car and forgot who he loaned it out to and its been missing for three weeks and the boss doesn,t know but the bashster does .
I have the same car in the same colour red with a massive smashed up front end so i decide to make some false plates and stick them on over the ones on the car.
He will probably find the car Monday see it smashed up and shit hi,self i am soooo evil.

PRANK2 SEXUAL HARRASSMENT

So we have a couple of walkie talkies i decided to hide one in the mens toilets and waited for the cleaning lady a fragile thing in her 40,s to clean them on Friday morning.She entered the toilets and i relayed the message from my office to the unsuspecting lady.
I can see cleaning the toilets when you are hoping to catch a young bloke with his big cock hanging out!!.
God im so evil she came out beaming red shaking i guess it shock her up.

So you see im back to my usual self i am also missing mr car stereo which is still at the repairers.I hate driving home with no music i have resorted to singing songs at the top of my voice to keep me occupied heres my songlist
closer-nine inch nails
word up-cameo
im comin up -pink
gion crazy-dave lee roth

Wow talking of singing chomps says i became SHIRLEY BASSEY in bed last night and sung diamonds are forever and goldfinger before dissing her for having a tattoo .Tattoos are vulgar darllling i said ha my fucking dreams get weirder.

I managed to see the new My Chemical Romance video which after the black parade video is a bit of a let down all that fire they should have torched the fuckers for it being so shit but i like the bit where the drummers leg sets on fire cool.

So the bashster has a new icon to live up to in the guise of MIKE STRUTTER Afrom New York fucking city.This guy is the new character from Paul Kaye who was Dennis Pennis the proofs in the pudding watch below fucking hilarious


He also sings!!!


And insults forigners a man after my own heart


I nicked this off mikestrutters my space page check it out to insult your my space buddies
<a href="http://www.myspace.com/mikestrutter"><img src="http://static.flickr.com/106/291701799_e7ddbd5dcf_o.gif" border="0"></a>

Finally chomps is getting a nautical star for my chrissy prezzie to her which will look cool

Im off to stuff the turkey,gobble the goose and boil the spuds

see ya