Well i never for once in my miserable time on planet earth i have had a top week where i have enjoyed life and work for good measure.
Ths bash has also returned in bashster as i will now describe my week
DASTARDLY AND MUTTLEY[/B.]
CHOMPERS amazing run round our local playing field chasing the dog that saw freedom made me laff.She said she scared some young boys and the postman with her swinging shirt potatoes(or is that pyjama pototoes who knows??).It bears not thinking about and the poor postman i apologise for my wifes behavior.
gurls can,t throw and can,t kick FACT
I had a top night out on wednesday nite at the pool match chilled with the boys and even thou we lost 6 1 it was good to get out and relax for once with the pressures of work not on my shoulders.
I returned home and was just about to get out of the car when a pissed up mong faced wife scared the shit outta me coming out of the dark in a semi pissed state.
We went inside and as usual she picked on me calling me names i responded with some famous chomp nicknames which include
THUNDER THIGHS
BEAKFACE
DOUBLERCHIN
OR PLAIN SIMPLE FUCK FACE.
I was nearly crying from her abuse when i spotted the remains of the tin foil on the kitchen worktop that once held a jacket spud which piggy wiggy was devouring like some savaged animal.Why do women eat like cavewomen when pissed??.
The devil in me rolled the tin foil into a ball and i volleyed(kicked it)it zoomed off and hit old beakface sqaure in the snoozer(fuck me i kicked it that hard i nearly straightened her nose!!!
)THHHHHHHHHHHHHERRRRRWACK wat a shot i began to celebrate but forgot about reaction of a scoulded lady(did i say lady).She procedded to boot the jacket pototoe at me but alas it went straight up and stuck on the room ceiling then fell all over the floor(thats why women don,t play soccer)dozy chomper.She has learned her lesson whos master in the bashster household so before all you feminist twonks write to diss me just remeber i now have a lovely room ceiling in white and butte colour so there!!!!.
NEVER DARE THE BASHSTER!!
So work is pretty chilled on thursday so i donned my overalls to help young al the apprentise to move the mound of boxe and rubbish to the skip,bieng a shirt n tie sucks i love getting mucky and will help out my boyz if the need be.
We piled a array of boxes in the doorway of the garage for transportation to the skip.
Lumpa(mick wood geddit) and oddjob(small and stunted mat)dared me to climb on the compressor a good 4 meters up and launch myself into them jackass stylee.I said fuckit i will do it for lunch on friday the bet was agreed!!.
I nervously climbed the compressor and arms spread lika bird i stood on the edge to jump donwards.It well known i hate heights but i am a tight bastard when it comes to money.Oddjob videod my amazing leap off the compressor i showed off with a kinda mid air flip and only just centralized the box landing.It looked fucking awesome on video and when he bluetooths me it i will show it on here or you tube.
I also at work got caught by a customer wearing false eyebrows made outta a bit of black sponge she didn,t look happy.I would give my left nut to be served by a groucho marx look alike.I also attemped the swiss roll eating world record which i managed six choccy ones at once cadburys ,i will sue.
I tend to find people leave the weirdest things in cars in for repair.Usaully the young business women its a sports bag ,blue n gurls aloud cd and a nice thong to change into after the gym.Thers one sick mother at work that likes to lick the crotch of said panties me i turn a blind eye to this disgusting activity.This journal will contain the weirdest thing found in a car this week heres the first one
A PAIR OF GOLD 70,S STYLE DISCO BOOTS.WIERD!!!!!.
Stay tuned for next weeks
I have aquired a vast quantity of mp3 and sell a few lps to work mates so if you fancy any send me a email i will list you it might save you a bit of money for my sg chumz
I watched the cathy tate show last nite usually i can,t stand her but she was very funny.I stayed up to watch the uk punk bands documentry TOWERS OF LONDON thats on bravo which tells of their escapades over six months.The first in the series was so funny they had a mass fight with a boring american crowd in texas but beat the living shit outta of somebody that totally deserves it filmed on camera.The best thing is the chav gets it big style after coming all over hard watch it on youtube here the link
They are my fave band at the mo thick as fuck and remind me of what rock n roll should be about/
This weeks good and bad list now for yas(i see its getting copied a bit the baliffs will be round for copyright theft you barsts!!!
FUCKIN RAD LIST
1.Alambama the best dirty pillows bar none.The tits of tranquility,the nipples of nobility and the ....them tits rule shame shes a rug muncher what a waste!!!!
2.Me and the gimme gimmes country lp it rocks yeee haaaaaaaa!!!
3.My bolts wait till helloween for piccys kiddies
4.My guinea pigs have learned to kiss me how cute(what a wuss)
5.My huggggggggge pay packet this week
fuckin bad
1.JACKET POTOTOE WITH CHEESE AND ROOF PLEASE
2.WIERD BELLYACHE ALL WEEK AFTER I HAVE EATEN
3.MISSING ANGIES DUST UP SHIT SANDWICH(WOW YOUR PROFILE PICCY IS SO CUTE NEARLY HAS GOOD AS MINE)
4.MY CAPS LOCK STAYING ON FUCKER
5.MOBILE phone batterys not working drat and double drat!!!
So the weekend comes the cycle hums ENJOY MY FRIENDS I SAY ENJOY THE WORLD WILL END TOMMOROW FOR ALL YOU KNOW!!!
BASHSTER OUT
Ths bash has also returned in bashster as i will now describe my week
DASTARDLY AND MUTTLEY[/B.]
CHOMPERS amazing run round our local playing field chasing the dog that saw freedom made me laff.She said she scared some young boys and the postman with her swinging shirt potatoes(or is that pyjama pototoes who knows??).It bears not thinking about and the poor postman i apologise for my wifes behavior.
gurls can,t throw and can,t kick FACT
I had a top night out on wednesday nite at the pool match chilled with the boys and even thou we lost 6 1 it was good to get out and relax for once with the pressures of work not on my shoulders.
I returned home and was just about to get out of the car when a pissed up mong faced wife scared the shit outta me coming out of the dark in a semi pissed state.
We went inside and as usual she picked on me calling me names i responded with some famous chomp nicknames which include
THUNDER THIGHS
BEAKFACE
DOUBLERCHIN
OR PLAIN SIMPLE FUCK FACE.
I was nearly crying from her abuse when i spotted the remains of the tin foil on the kitchen worktop that once held a jacket spud which piggy wiggy was devouring like some savaged animal.Why do women eat like cavewomen when pissed??.
The devil in me rolled the tin foil into a ball and i volleyed(kicked it)it zoomed off and hit old beakface sqaure in the snoozer(fuck me i kicked it that hard i nearly straightened her nose!!!
)THHHHHHHHHHHHHERRRRRWACK wat a shot i began to celebrate but forgot about reaction of a scoulded lady(did i say lady).She procedded to boot the jacket pototoe at me but alas it went straight up and stuck on the room ceiling then fell all over the floor(thats why women don,t play soccer)dozy chomper.She has learned her lesson whos master in the bashster household so before all you feminist twonks write to diss me just remeber i now have a lovely room ceiling in white and butte colour so there!!!!.
NEVER DARE THE BASHSTER!!
So work is pretty chilled on thursday so i donned my overalls to help young al the apprentise to move the mound of boxe and rubbish to the skip,bieng a shirt n tie sucks i love getting mucky and will help out my boyz if the need be.
We piled a array of boxes in the doorway of the garage for transportation to the skip.
Lumpa(mick wood geddit) and oddjob(small and stunted mat)dared me to climb on the compressor a good 4 meters up and launch myself into them jackass stylee.I said fuckit i will do it for lunch on friday the bet was agreed!!.
I nervously climbed the compressor and arms spread lika bird i stood on the edge to jump donwards.It well known i hate heights but i am a tight bastard when it comes to money.Oddjob videod my amazing leap off the compressor i showed off with a kinda mid air flip and only just centralized the box landing.It looked fucking awesome on video and when he bluetooths me it i will show it on here or you tube.
I also at work got caught by a customer wearing false eyebrows made outta a bit of black sponge she didn,t look happy.I would give my left nut to be served by a groucho marx look alike.I also attemped the swiss roll eating world record which i managed six choccy ones at once cadburys ,i will sue.
I tend to find people leave the weirdest things in cars in for repair.Usaully the young business women its a sports bag ,blue n gurls aloud cd and a nice thong to change into after the gym.Thers one sick mother at work that likes to lick the crotch of said panties me i turn a blind eye to this disgusting activity.This journal will contain the weirdest thing found in a car this week heres the first one
A PAIR OF GOLD 70,S STYLE DISCO BOOTS.WIERD!!!!!.
Stay tuned for next weeks
I have aquired a vast quantity of mp3 and sell a few lps to work mates so if you fancy any send me a email i will list you it might save you a bit of money for my sg chumz
I watched the cathy tate show last nite usually i can,t stand her but she was very funny.I stayed up to watch the uk punk bands documentry TOWERS OF LONDON thats on bravo which tells of their escapades over six months.The first in the series was so funny they had a mass fight with a boring american crowd in texas but beat the living shit outta of somebody that totally deserves it filmed on camera.The best thing is the chav gets it big style after coming all over hard watch it on youtube here the link
They are my fave band at the mo thick as fuck and remind me of what rock n roll should be about/
This weeks good and bad list now for yas(i see its getting copied a bit the baliffs will be round for copyright theft you barsts!!!
FUCKIN RAD LIST
1.Alambama the best dirty pillows bar none.The tits of tranquility,the nipples of nobility and the ....them tits rule shame shes a rug muncher what a waste!!!!
2.Me and the gimme gimmes country lp it rocks yeee haaaaaaaa!!!
3.My bolts wait till helloween for piccys kiddies
4.My guinea pigs have learned to kiss me how cute(what a wuss)
5.My huggggggggge pay packet this week
fuckin bad
1.JACKET POTOTOE WITH CHEESE AND ROOF PLEASE
2.WIERD BELLYACHE ALL WEEK AFTER I HAVE EATEN
3.MISSING ANGIES DUST UP SHIT SANDWICH(WOW YOUR PROFILE PICCY IS SO CUTE NEARLY HAS GOOD AS MINE)
4.MY CAPS LOCK STAYING ON FUCKER
5.MOBILE phone batterys not working drat and double drat!!!
So the weekend comes the cycle hums ENJOY MY FRIENDS I SAY ENJOY THE WORLD WILL END TOMMOROW FOR ALL YOU KNOW!!!
BASHSTER OUT
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
fuckin funny you are
i want to see this dare-bash-to-fly video MAINTENANT!
and... BE NICE YOU!!!
me my lists
FUCKINRAD
-making mad cash working as a bartender
-days to going back on the road travelling i can count on 1 hand wooot!
-get to see PROPAGANDHI TOMORROW NIGHT yaaaaaa
FUCKINPOO!
-2 feet of snow outside
-currently suffering from a case of psycho ex -boyfriend syndrome
-all my shoes/boots stolen from me
what is this jacket potatoe. i see how he/it got onto the cieling but why does the potatoe have a jacket, much confused.
i think you should be putting random things in those cars. especially ones with disco boots. like a rubix cube. IN THE BOOT! yeah try putting that on now HA
oorrrrr scary knives. make people develop a complex.