What a eventful weekend i have had and seeing i have a bit of time i will let the story unfold so stand by to be amazed and astounded and hopefully it will give you a good chuckle on the way!!!
ACT1
I HATE MYSELF AND I WANNA DIE SHOP ASSISTANT AND STRAW????
So i dropped old chomperoonie off at work saturday morning and went to my local supermarket TESCOS!!!.
I like going early its quiet and i can do some extreme trolley surfing without knocking any grannies over lol.
I reached the tills and spotted a lad with dyed black hair and a red patch at the front and black finger nails!!!.
I unloaded my shopping at watched in horror as my mood from happy got glummer and glummer looking at the emo unhappiest bastard i have seen in my life god a hello morninng wouldn,t go a miss.The shopping entered the bags until he scanned my kerrang(heavy metal weekly bible for all you yanks a bit like errr hit parader??).
It talks it talks!!! and what did it say its shit this week!!.Well i hope you go and sit in a dark room listen to hawthorne heights and have a good cry you sad fucker.
So straw you may ask well ite everywhere in the house after inheriting the critters!!!.Its on the celler steps,under the coffee table ,in the car and wouldn,t be suprised if i find some in bed before long.Either that or chomps is shagging a scarecrow!!!
I feed the critters and duff decided to do some climbing as pictured below
ACT2
NOTTINGHAM ROCK CITY WHERE ARE YOU????
So me n chomps went to Nottingham to rock city to watch Buckcherry!!,i will never use a internet rout finder again it took me a hour to find the fucking place thanks goes to the old skool metaller who showed us the light!!
The gig was interesting it was packed with people who had raided their wardrobes from the 80,s especailly the women and pumped their bodies up to size 16,s and more!!!
.A fucking timewarp of a place but the Buck boys rocked and chomps quite enjoyed herself.
We stayed in the club a bit then went to a dodgy burger hut 40yards away.Chomps ordered the food and i feel someone squeeze my ass which wasn,t chomps i looked around to see a dwarfish kinnda lass at 5 1 standing there smiling at me has she tryed to clean vomit off her pink tights and dress nice .
We set off back naturally nature took its course and chomps had to releive her bladder after only five miles up the moterway shucks!!! women and bladders
.
We have decided to go back late November for a night out so anybody wanting to come we will let you know when where in the vicinity!!!.
ACT3
My star wars life!!!
Stars wars is taking other my life at the mo.I cast myself as Luke skywalker at the mo especially at work.
The force in me is strong where as my manager is The emperor wanting it seems to shoot me down at any opputunity and the general manager is Darth vader who seems to be taking me under his wing in that kinda im your father luke kinda way strange.Even stranger is my star wars dreaming inwhich chomps says i sat up bolt right and uttered the immortal line DON,T GO OVER TO THE DARK SIDE LUKE!before i attempted to strangle her yikes.I gotta stop watchin the movies on sky ,roared my eyes out at the end of reurn of the jedi tonite sad!!.
NEMESIS OF A SEXUAL NATURE!!!
So i have a love rival in my affections for chomps.She holds him in her arms and lusts over his black shirted body.Runs her fingers through his hair and he makes her want to shag a bustop billboard whos this meet
RUSSELL BRAND GRRRRRRRRRR
My lusting over all things japanese has brung me to the attention of DEVON AOKI whos drop dead gorgeus
chompers tattoos!!!
I have put chomps sleeve tattoo on her sg page for all you that asked heres a sneaky peek
So thats me over and out time to rest recharge my light saber ,feed my wookie have a good old princess leer at some porn and probably go hands solo if you get my drift
ACT1
I HATE MYSELF AND I WANNA DIE SHOP ASSISTANT AND STRAW????
So i dropped old chomperoonie off at work saturday morning and went to my local supermarket TESCOS!!!.
I like going early its quiet and i can do some extreme trolley surfing without knocking any grannies over lol.
I reached the tills and spotted a lad with dyed black hair and a red patch at the front and black finger nails!!!.
I unloaded my shopping at watched in horror as my mood from happy got glummer and glummer looking at the emo unhappiest bastard i have seen in my life god a hello morninng wouldn,t go a miss.The shopping entered the bags until he scanned my kerrang(heavy metal weekly bible for all you yanks a bit like errr hit parader??).
It talks it talks!!! and what did it say its shit this week!!.Well i hope you go and sit in a dark room listen to hawthorne heights and have a good cry you sad fucker.
So straw you may ask well ite everywhere in the house after inheriting the critters!!!.Its on the celler steps,under the coffee table ,in the car and wouldn,t be suprised if i find some in bed before long.Either that or chomps is shagging a scarecrow!!!
I feed the critters and duff decided to do some climbing as pictured below
ACT2
NOTTINGHAM ROCK CITY WHERE ARE YOU????
So me n chomps went to Nottingham to rock city to watch Buckcherry!!,i will never use a internet rout finder again it took me a hour to find the fucking place thanks goes to the old skool metaller who showed us the light!!
The gig was interesting it was packed with people who had raided their wardrobes from the 80,s especailly the women and pumped their bodies up to size 16,s and more!!!
.A fucking timewarp of a place but the Buck boys rocked and chomps quite enjoyed herself.
We stayed in the club a bit then went to a dodgy burger hut 40yards away.Chomps ordered the food and i feel someone squeeze my ass which wasn,t chomps i looked around to see a dwarfish kinnda lass at 5 1 standing there smiling at me has she tryed to clean vomit off her pink tights and dress nice
.
We set off back naturally nature took its course and chomps had to releive her bladder after only five miles up the moterway shucks!!! women and bladders
.
We have decided to go back late November for a night out so anybody wanting to come we will let you know when where in the vicinity!!!.
ACT3
My star wars life!!!
Stars wars is taking other my life at the mo.I cast myself as Luke skywalker at the mo especially at work.
The force in me is strong where as my manager is The emperor wanting it seems to shoot me down at any opputunity and the general manager is Darth vader who seems to be taking me under his wing in that kinda im your father luke kinda way strange.Even stranger is my star wars dreaming inwhich chomps says i sat up bolt right and uttered the immortal line DON,T GO OVER TO THE DARK SIDE LUKE!before i attempted to strangle her yikes.I gotta stop watchin the movies on sky ,roared my eyes out at the end of reurn of the jedi tonite sad!!.
NEMESIS OF A SEXUAL NATURE!!!
So i have a love rival in my affections for chomps.She holds him in her arms and lusts over his black shirted body.Runs her fingers through his hair and he makes her want to shag a bustop billboard whos this meet
RUSSELL BRAND GRRRRRRRRRR
My lusting over all things japanese has brung me to the attention of DEVON AOKI whos drop dead gorgeus
chompers tattoos!!!
I have put chomps sleeve tattoo on her sg page for all you that asked heres a sneaky peek
So thats me over and out time to rest recharge my light saber ,feed my wookie have a good old princess leer at some porn and probably go hands solo if you get my drift
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
Chomps has to own every single hello kitty item ever made!
And me and all the asians ever are jealous!