bashster

To coin a phrase from a song by the bloodhound gang this is the inevitable return of the great white dope.
Come on guys you have missed me haven,t you and i gotta tell you its a rollercoaster journey of a journey so strap yourself in tight and let the ride to insanity commence!.

We first climb up the track on the rollercoaster and stop at
RICHARDS HAIRY ITCHY BALLSACK
Richard my mate at work suffered the past week from ahem itchy ball sack syndrome.Midweek he decided to err trim the little springy fellas down to a tuft.I asked him if they wer any better but he replied no they still itch ,i declared a sexual crab like disease was to blame!.
Thursday he came in sayin the problem was no more ,as you do i inquired what you done then, to my shock and horror he had dropped his pants to show us his bald purple bollocks and cock.A mate of his had told him of the healing powers of potassium permangenate and thus he had soaked them when shaved in a bowl for 2 hours.The moral of this story is go to the docs get it sorted because who wants to fuck a bloke with a cock n balls that look like a beetroot veggie accident!.

So round the first corner of the journal rollercaoster we go and whooosh down to the

Does my wife masturbate question?

So i retire to the living room while crissy has a bath after a hour i meander(thats a good word)upstairs to see if she has finished as you know women go wrinkly from spending to much time in the bath!.
Now the purple balls was a shock but upon putting my head round the corner i speid crissy with legs akimbo with finger near her naked axewound area??.What should i do go back down stairs or spie a bit longer or walk in because i,m to nosey!!.
You guessed i walked in has she let out a scream this in hindsight was in pain as she was waxing her bikini line with them strips mucho relief for me.I told her about my inkling on what she was doing she laffed and then casually told me not to nick her batteries outta of her vibrator for my mouse!.
We then talked in detail about self pleasure and i was suprised dhe doesn,t think of other men to get herself off and uses the big v once or twice a week??.I guess i opened up to women do it an all now i don,t feel guilty about my tuesday night tug!

So the rollercoaster does the loop de loop as we role onto

MY GRANS EVIL ELECTRIC FIRE

I often wonder where my brain takes me sometimes and at my grans today it was to the fire is a place of devil worship.
Get this its black glows orange makes a funny hell kinda sound and is adourned with a gold motif which kinda looks symbolic.I can,t get it outta my head about them having a naked witchfest in my grannies front room weird!.

We start to climb again up and up until we arrive at

all americans are fucking deaf!

As you know i watch little tv but American idol is one of my faves so it is with shock and horror my fave cris got voted out this week that fucking mcpheee woman should have gone like last year the yanks love a wholesome cutsy cute girl and she was wank with a capital W this week so shame on you america for voting so badly!

As my journal winds to a stop heres the final gasp of addrenellin for you all!

SHOP SHOP TILL YOU DROP!
I went shopping bigstyle this weekend to manchester and Leeds then got hammered on vodka shots and chinese food hoorahhhh!.
I purchased two pairs of jeans,the new bullets and octane lp which rox buy it,a new atticus t shirt a lowlife skull belt which rules and some interesting pronstar style briefs one with a tattoo designs the other which make me look like dirk diggler outta boogie nights they are frightenly unattractive make crissy piss herself with laughter heres the piccys you decide also some cool skull socks hey libes im a fashion horse baby there is also a piccy for catago who well be jealous of crissys new cookie jar!.
Must say hope Jens gets well shes sick and im looking forword to leicester square on the tv that dude is funny russell brand the play off cup final next weekend come on LEEDS the eurovision song contest and the inevetable kerry mc wat ever her name is getting to the american idol finale fucking vote her off pleaaaaaase!

HERES MY PURRRCHASEEESSS THIS WEEKEND!