this is now my fifth year of SG.
that is longer than my secondary education, and will probably equal the time i'll spend in college once all is said & done.
jesus christ.
i've been getting more & more signs lately that i'm getting older; it's more visible than it was in the past. it's weird watching people you got blind drunk in cornfields with at a tender young age turn into respectable, mild-mannered citizens and well-rounded (gulp) adults. getting married, getting a house in the suburbs. next comes the 1.5 kids and a dog, and preferably a white picket fence, although that probably won't happen in the cookie-cutter subdivisions of the new millennium. some have gotten hitched, never to be heard from again-"i'm working at this new job, you know, and we've got the house..." especially weird when a year, two years ago the guy was doing beer bongs of jagermeister and getting kicked out of denny's for dancing on the table with a stack of syrup-soaked pancakes on his head. some have gotten degrees, some have prospered, others have died or been left behind. living in wicker park or pilsen and trying to be a hipster, working shit jobs, getting knocked up (ala TWO of my ex-girlfriends!), living like it was still sophomore year of high school, and the list goes on. my best friend shows every sign of getting stuck in the working-class, union-labor, work sixty hours a week and drink miller lite on your porch when you get home lifestyle by the time he's thirty. "yeah, i might be getting a job at the Ford plant; $22 an hour, ain't that something!"
this is frightening.
lordy.
as for me, well, i've been changing constantly my whole life. i don't plan on changing who i am, or bedding down in the suburbs with the wife and kid anytime soon. we all used to tell ourselves that, at sixteen, with our studded wristbands and big-city dreams--and that we were destined for greatness. that's what i love the most about the Midwest, it's wide-open Technicolor spaces, its endless horizon; it's the best place in the world for dreaming. nobody wants to be here, and everybody is sure that something is happening Somewhere Else. everyone has all these glittering aspirations at that age, mostly to Not End Up Like My Parents. & most fall short. i never had those. i know i won't end up like my parents, simply because for me it's not possible. i'm not out for immortality, or money, or smashing success, or anything. the traditional American Dream is not on the agenda, because i've never been able to do anything normally. it'll be interesting. & that's about all i can guarantee.
so what's been happening lately:
-FINALLY going to finish my fucking degree after the education department at Lewis, and my academic career with it, sagged slowly and clumsily to earth like a dying fucking buffalo...starting at UIC in August, although i can't tell you how the fuck i'm going to pay for it.
-a new car. well, new for me. haha. but it is one that A) is reliable, B) is relatively nice-looking, C) has enough room for my legs not to be pinned painfully under the steering wheel, D) can accelerate fast enough for me to make a left turn across traffic without worrying about being t-boned by a car half a mile down the road, and E) will not leak gasoline onto a burning-hot muffler, almost causing me and a significant portion of the surrounding homes & businesses to be incinerated.
i'm also thinking about tattoos.
but usually when i do that, it takes a while, because my first ideas are generally idiotic or out of my financial grasp.
we'll see.
stay tuned for more regular updates, now that i have the stability of things like a home, a computer, & you know, that kind of stuff.
that is longer than my secondary education, and will probably equal the time i'll spend in college once all is said & done.
jesus christ.
i've been getting more & more signs lately that i'm getting older; it's more visible than it was in the past. it's weird watching people you got blind drunk in cornfields with at a tender young age turn into respectable, mild-mannered citizens and well-rounded (gulp) adults. getting married, getting a house in the suburbs. next comes the 1.5 kids and a dog, and preferably a white picket fence, although that probably won't happen in the cookie-cutter subdivisions of the new millennium. some have gotten hitched, never to be heard from again-"i'm working at this new job, you know, and we've got the house..." especially weird when a year, two years ago the guy was doing beer bongs of jagermeister and getting kicked out of denny's for dancing on the table with a stack of syrup-soaked pancakes on his head. some have gotten degrees, some have prospered, others have died or been left behind. living in wicker park or pilsen and trying to be a hipster, working shit jobs, getting knocked up (ala TWO of my ex-girlfriends!), living like it was still sophomore year of high school, and the list goes on. my best friend shows every sign of getting stuck in the working-class, union-labor, work sixty hours a week and drink miller lite on your porch when you get home lifestyle by the time he's thirty. "yeah, i might be getting a job at the Ford plant; $22 an hour, ain't that something!"
this is frightening.
lordy.
as for me, well, i've been changing constantly my whole life. i don't plan on changing who i am, or bedding down in the suburbs with the wife and kid anytime soon. we all used to tell ourselves that, at sixteen, with our studded wristbands and big-city dreams--and that we were destined for greatness. that's what i love the most about the Midwest, it's wide-open Technicolor spaces, its endless horizon; it's the best place in the world for dreaming. nobody wants to be here, and everybody is sure that something is happening Somewhere Else. everyone has all these glittering aspirations at that age, mostly to Not End Up Like My Parents. & most fall short. i never had those. i know i won't end up like my parents, simply because for me it's not possible. i'm not out for immortality, or money, or smashing success, or anything. the traditional American Dream is not on the agenda, because i've never been able to do anything normally. it'll be interesting. & that's about all i can guarantee.
so what's been happening lately:
-FINALLY going to finish my fucking degree after the education department at Lewis, and my academic career with it, sagged slowly and clumsily to earth like a dying fucking buffalo...starting at UIC in August, although i can't tell you how the fuck i'm going to pay for it.
-a new car. well, new for me. haha. but it is one that A) is reliable, B) is relatively nice-looking, C) has enough room for my legs not to be pinned painfully under the steering wheel, D) can accelerate fast enough for me to make a left turn across traffic without worrying about being t-boned by a car half a mile down the road, and E) will not leak gasoline onto a burning-hot muffler, almost causing me and a significant portion of the surrounding homes & businesses to be incinerated.
i'm also thinking about tattoos.
but usually when i do that, it takes a while, because my first ideas are generally idiotic or out of my financial grasp.
we'll see.
stay tuned for more regular updates, now that i have the stability of things like a home, a computer, & you know, that kind of stuff.
And you know, it probably does. I haven't checked, however
good luck with everything there.
and nice to meet you.