Friday May 21, 2004

0
I woke up,
The sun shining is so bad for my white knuckles.
In which 48 more hours and 3 of my `10 scars will heal. the blood cells coming together and giving a easy birth to the once dead skin.
wow so much is happening just on my hands and i havent even woke up yet. but i was awake.and begin to think aside...
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Thursday Feb 19, 2004

0
I'm not that smart really..
i like to think and i like to think about not really being that smart. im still thinking. im sitting here and im thinking while 3 men are playing cards . one bets high and one takes him up a rat runs by and i can smell the surroundings the smell of a coat store. this makes me sick ....
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Tuesday Feb 03, 2004

0
so i now have a suicide girls acount.yup shocked
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
bambi_jerk:
I'm not that smart really..
i like to think and i like to think about not really being that smart. im still thinking. im sitting here and im thinking while 3 men are playing cards . one bets high and one takes him up a rat runs by and i can smell the surroundings the smell of a coat store. this makes me sick . this makes me think. what the fuck am i doing . what the hell am i doing here. one man yelps the other man collects his winnings. i watch. they try to get me in on the game but i dont want no part. i cant even touch a card with out thinking. in the back ground a mysterious women turns on the record player. she walks away with her short black as night hair.she has brown eyes her eyebrows are in perfect shape her dress is a tint off black as her hair. i wanna look at her. i try and look at her. but i dont want her looking at me.what the fuck am i thinking. why the hell am i here. someone places another high bet. the songs over and the next one begins. im thinking wheres that rat. what happened to that awful smell? where did everything go. if i had a gun . if i had a gun i would shoot the wall . i would shoot the bloody wall untill that rat decided to come out of his hole. i probably would shoot he rat too. in fact id shoot him 3 times. im thinking. im thinking about a former girl i once loved.I bet she doesnt care that iam here. she doesnt have shiney black hair. i cared for that woman but without her it was tough but it made sense. and now i have to think why am i not thinking of making a decent a over decent amount of money for my future why am i not thinking of a house and a kid. someone wins a bet. drinks are swallowed. i need a gun. i should have a gun.
where did that rat go? that smell is gone. im thinking im hearing that woman again but i cant see. im thinking. im thinking im really not that smart. i need a drink. if i had a drink i would drink for 3.
bambi_jerk:
k i l l i n g time
is k i l l i n g us