Incidentally, as I sit here and type this, wracking my head for a title, on the TV in the background is THIS song:
So, there you have it...
Probably not a lot going on in the last week, so this might not be a long one. Although things DID happen nonetheless.
To start out, last Monday I went to meet my mother and her sister for dinner... only to come out and my front right tire was flat. No good deed, yea? So, I try to get to the nearest gas station to air it up... which is literally less than a block away, but by the time I get there, the tire is hanging off the rim and smells of burnt rubber. Needless to say, it was fucking toast. Yes yes, I know "But it was only less than a block..." Yea, a block on these potholed streets in a city that has the fucking gall to charge city tax. I'd REALLY like to know where the fuck that money goes... but I digress. So it's cold as a witch's tit in a brass bra... on the dark side of the moon, outside, I'm told by the roadside assistance that it's going to be two hours before they get there. Fine... so in my car, I wait. Instead of sending a tow truck to take my car home, they sent a guy out in a pick-up truck to change my tire. "Yea... this lug isn't moving, I think you need a key." Really...? Yea, that's why I needed a tow. So it takes another hour to get a hold of the tow company, to which they say "He'll be there between an hour or two..." So once again, I wait. And I wait... and I wait. At some points throughout the night, I looked at my temp gauge in my car and it read -18 degrees (-27.7 for those in metric) outside. I first got my car to the gas station at 10PM... only to have my dad come and get me at 10:30 the next day. For twelve hours, I sat there in the frigid cold,running my engine the entire time. The advantage to not moving anywhere is that it doesn't burn much gas... the disadvantage, is that it isn't putting the engine to work, generating heat in which to put through the vents, so it's blowing cold air... the same cold air as from outside. I read somewhere that a couple hours in 0 degrees (-17.7 for metric) will kill somebody... so I have NO idea how I made it. I couldn't feel anything below my waist and was so delirious that I thought masturbating would keep me alive.
As for my hands, this guy kept me going there,
So, a "going away" present that actually ended up keeping me alive. Oddly, I switched it out with my butane one earlier THAT night. I am eternally grateful for the gift. More so than usual.
I was actually going into what's called "Terminal Burrowing" which is like one of the last stages before succumbing to hypothermia, where someone gets so cold in a room and they curl up in a corner to die. Which is why you might have heard of people out in the snow getting to the point of burying themselves in snow, with the same result. Anyhow... I was locked in the fetal position in my front seat, trying like hell to move, but my muscles, ligaments and joints weren't moving. Like they never got the memo. I was also checking out. Not like "Oh man, my eyes are so heavy and I'm sleepy" it was more like I was drugged or something. The tow guy said that he showed up but I wasn't there, bla bla blah... fact is, he never showed up and his company lost the contract for it. Finally, another tow truck came and finally got it home.
You may be able to see the tire there and it's condition. I finally got it fixed on Sunday with the spare. Interestingly, the spare is the same tire as the others, but you'd think that with it being a Jag, it'd have the same rim. Shit in one hand, right.
By the time I got finished from everything and took off my pants, I was surprised to see this:
No filter or anything. It actually had blue and white to it as well. My knees were completely numb, even when I was warming up. Such a random place to get frostbite. It took three days for my body from the waist down to stop itching and I slept like fucking crazy for about two and a half. So, that happened.
A bit of happy things here... check this out
And this...
This week, I was talking with someone about sexy things even though Law And Order: SVU was on. So, during the episode, I was able to stay turned on, super weird... or super POWER?
Had a dinner party to attend. So donning a Dior suit, it was moved to a restaurant in German Village called Barcelona. It was pretty good, great atmosphere... food.
Had a drink that is supposedly popular in Spain called... something. It's half wine and half Coke. Those wily Spaniards. Or... perhaps I was being had, who knows. It actually tasted like watered down wine... or watered down Coke... both? I don't know.
Went to see American Hustle the other night and it was actually a lot better than I thought it would be. It was actually rather funny. So walking in, the streets are bare and I actually had my jacket open, then upon leaving, my friend and I were met with THIS
But then, I had it out with my friend and ended up leaving the car to catch the bus... in the middle of a blizzard. It's that Latin passion, I can assure you. But then the bus went right by me, so I conceded to getting back into the car and going home.
Me for the evening
I don't know... I rather like this photo. Which says a LOT, considering how I feel about such things.
So the Olympics have started... seems like only yesterday when I was in Incheon International Airport, leaving Seoul, South Korea and almost ran into Kim Yuna on her way to Vancouver, where she brought home the gold medal from. She seemed rather nice. Then again, I looked like a stereotypical American "rockstar" with big black hair, a band shirt, tattoos and big silver hoops in his ears... which created a LOT of confusion on my plane from Seoul to O'hare in Chicago. Speaking of the airport and the Olympics, apparently there's a ban on taking ANY fluids onto the plane, not just things over 4oz. (118ml
for the metric) I don't know people... call me a dick for saying it, but I'm pretty sure terrorism has won.
Yesterday, I had to leave to get a tattoo, then went out and had to spend a half hour clearing off my car, pissing my neighbors off by singing along with the radio on in the inside, to this song
Been a while since I'd done the whole "Songs I get weird looks for" segment, so I thought I'd indulge. I was considerably surprised that I actually knew the words to this song. So, there I was, using the big brush and scraping while belting it out.
I sat through a couple hours in my tattooist's chair for this:
And it hurt... like. A. BITCH. Just like the other side a few weeks ago. The chupacabra was from about ten years ago... but the bars and cherry blossom petals are new. I would have waited until my right sleeve is done, (in which I only need two smaller tattoos, then fill it in with the wave and wind bars) but having had the left shield (Or plate, to some) done a few weeks ago, I felt completely off balance, if that makes any sense.
During the session, we had a break and I had to leave really quick, only to go out and my front LEFT tire was flat! Seriously??? Come on...! So I carefully go to the nearest gas station, only to put money in the air machine... and it was out of order. So I had to drive another half mile to another one. Not to mention traffic and dodging potholes. Fun stuff...
It was a little bittersweet, as it was going to be the last time I'd see my tattooist for the unforeseeable future, with the move to Medellin, Colombia and all. As well as being the fourth anniversary of when he first started working on my sleeve. The first piece he did for me. You spend 86 of 104 hours under someone's needle, it really gives you time to get to know them. So I'll rather miss spending time there. As a parting gift, he actually gave me some Japanese prints...
They're really cool and like lithographs. The sad part is, that they are actually rather large and though I'd LOVE to take them with me to Colombia, but I can't. I don't want to bend them and I won't be able to frame them to put in my luggage... which is already looking dismal for space as it is.
Last night, I figured that I'd go for some Colombian again, I truly do love the food, so lucky me that I'll be surrounded by it.
So fucking good... if it weren't for knowing that I'll be living in abject poverty, as well as walking everywhere, I'd say that I would get chubby as hell living in Medellin.
Annnnnd... in true "My mother" fashion, she's making this whole move to Colombia about her. Trying to draw attention to herself because I'm moving, acting like I'm going on Death Row or something. Stepping up to the gallows. I can assure you, it's not merely motherly concern, as it should be, it's "Let's see how much I can milk the fuck out of this and keep attention on ME..." as she is habitually prone. I do not get pleasure from saying such things, but in all fairness, were they not existent I wouldn't be able to.
In closing, one of two things, or both for that matter... by this time next week, I'll be in Medellin, but my account may be gone. In either case, I'll be in Medellin. Who knows, I may still have my account on here.
My parting advice:
Pretty cut and dry...
