Well this is it then....
This is my last night here, tomorrow I leave for my new place, with my few belongings in tow. Its so quiet now, going through all the stuff to pack is bringing up many memories, some good, but all of them making me feel bad. My anger has subsided, but it has left me with an overpowering sadness that I cant shake. She was here briefly tonight, probably trying to say some kind of goodbye, but I couldn't talk, I'm so frozen with unhappiness. She's gone out again, probably the last time I'll see her - three years and I still couldn't manage goodbye. I don't really know what its going to be like not having someone to go home to, I'm lonely already. I'm gonna miss the cats, she says I can see them when I want, but its gonna be so hard, it'll just bring it all back, when I am just trying to move foreward - something I am finding so hard at the moment. I really wish I could pull myself together, I'm usually a very calm person, but I can honestly say this is the hardest thing I've ever had to go through, it hurts so much. Bollocks, I'm welling up now....at least I have a few beers to dull it, I think this is one night I can justify getting wasted.
Anyway, I'm gonna be off this site for a while, until my life sorts itself out a bit, and I can get a cable connection in the new place, so to everyone that comments, thanx for the words, I intend to come back kicking and screaming into a new era. I'll drop a few comments now, and I'll try and have a quick last look again in the morning before I disconnect the computer, but for now- peace out!
bad_jonn@hotmail.com
This is my last night here, tomorrow I leave for my new place, with my few belongings in tow. Its so quiet now, going through all the stuff to pack is bringing up many memories, some good, but all of them making me feel bad. My anger has subsided, but it has left me with an overpowering sadness that I cant shake. She was here briefly tonight, probably trying to say some kind of goodbye, but I couldn't talk, I'm so frozen with unhappiness. She's gone out again, probably the last time I'll see her - three years and I still couldn't manage goodbye. I don't really know what its going to be like not having someone to go home to, I'm lonely already. I'm gonna miss the cats, she says I can see them when I want, but its gonna be so hard, it'll just bring it all back, when I am just trying to move foreward - something I am finding so hard at the moment. I really wish I could pull myself together, I'm usually a very calm person, but I can honestly say this is the hardest thing I've ever had to go through, it hurts so much. Bollocks, I'm welling up now....at least I have a few beers to dull it, I think this is one night I can justify getting wasted.
Anyway, I'm gonna be off this site for a while, until my life sorts itself out a bit, and I can get a cable connection in the new place, so to everyone that comments, thanx for the words, I intend to come back kicking and screaming into a new era. I'll drop a few comments now, and I'll try and have a quick last look again in the morning before I disconnect the computer, but for now- peace out!
bad_jonn@hotmail.com
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
felidae:
I met you a couple days ago. I'm amazed, both at myself for remembering the username, and you for having been distant from the site for so long. You'll probably not read this since I know you have yet to get back online, but git yo ass back in here, at the very least so you can oberve that I am, indeed, a SuicideGirl, and very proud of the fact. Much love.
selena:
grrr, turn your account of for a bit your wasting good money, im gonna post some drunken pictures of you ray!! as soon as i figure out how to minimise them to uplaod onto my account. later gater! 