babygiantsquid

dear friends, i have recently awoken from more than 16 hours of sleep, like a prisoner at morningwood state penitentiary and shit. i am at a loss to explain this, although i must admit that my back no longer hurts... i have also had many strange and wondrous dreams - none of which involved being a viking, however, which it saddens me somewhat to say. i did fornicate nastily with many women of diverse nationalities, however, and toward the end my dick became so huge that it actually grew a foot on the end and i walked around on it for a while. i also started drinking again. (it turns out, according to my dreams, that i was never really sober in the first place - it was all an elaborate ruse.) at various points i was running for my life across exotic landscapes both wooded and desert; i sought out and destroyed the larvae of both wasps and widows with the help of my father, and took a road trip with elvis and his mousy girlfriend. we stopped and i took a whiz behind a bush by the entrance to a rest home where an elderly sissy spacek walked by and saw me but said nothing. neither elvis nor his girl believed me when i returned to the car. at some point the girl raced us in her own car, which in stark contrast to elvis' '65 mustang was a late model mazda hatchback with the rear door removed [dream logic here] to make the car more aerodynamic. she smoked us, though, which was a little embarrassing for us both. truth be told, elvis' ride was a piece of shit, and in ill repair at that - total white-trash rust bucket, oily rag for a gas cap, no door handles - i'm not sure why she felt she had to rub it in like that, but i didn't really care all that much because i was never much of an elvis fan to begin with...

in other news, i have decided that carl's jr has consistently produced THE most offensive ads in the history of television. my hatred for them goes back to "if it doesn't get all over the place..." and "burger, fries, and a coke..." and defies all measurement - boundless, it is. if i see one more i fear i shall shoot my tv. (maybe this is why i was dreaming about elvis...?) i am hoping that some righteous future court will convict them of gross and wanton pollution of the mental environment, and in turn not only revoke their charter, but condemn the architects of their various ad campaigns to a lifetime of forced viewing of their own hateful product. fuckers.

...does anyone else out there recognize that state-terrorism and consumerism are sides of a coin? every burger stuffed down the pieholes of fat ugly americans is a hot poker up the ass of some poor iraqi, or haitian, or rowandan, or somali, or sudanese - jump in and stop me anytime, folks... hang on - someone's at the door.

...oop - looks like i'm going away for a while, good friends. if they have internet at morningwood i'll stay in touch.
much love to you all.