The last couple of weeks have been nothing short of complete shit. 
Normally, I try and look upon my life with an optimistic twist and not dwell on the negatives that life can throw a person's way. But lately, I can't help feeling slightly deflated. In the last two weeks, two of my four favorite cats passed away. One was killed by my dog, Beast and the other died from internal bleeding caused from a person stepping on it. As if their deaths were not enough, I don't know who stepped on my cat. All I know is that same person, came into my house uninvited, stole my Smokin' Aces dvd and a box of my friends peach cigars that had been left in my living room. Then on top of all that, my dog beast (which killed my kitten lil vester) was killed in my front yard by someone (that I have no idea who is). My boyfriend and I left my house for an hour and when we came back, my dog was dead in my front yard with knife wounds all over its body.
Beyond deaths in the family, which I've taken fairly hard (the kittens especially), my job is making me feel like a helpless prisoner. Due to the financial standing of my home right now, any money I make is desperate needed to help pay bills and purchase groceries for my family. That's something that I normally wouldn't mind at all. But because of the horrendous treatment I'm recieving in the work place (mistreatment from my bosses and coworkers, harassment from my department boss, and inconsistent hours and scheduling) all I want to do is quit and relax a little bit. I can't even consider leaving an option though, until I have another job already. The money is something I just can't go without, even if its for only a week. *sighs*
With work and death on my mind, I can't help but feel a bit overwhelmed by any other tiny bad thing in life: a long wait in traffic, a bad hair day, a small family argument or fight with my boyfriend....its all like the end of the world for me. I'm just so very stressed out and don't know how to make myself any better at all.
I have a history of depression and I'm worried that all the progress I've been able to make in the last couple of years is going to start going down the drain because of all this drama that's simply out of my control.
Sorry for the rambling, I've just had a really lowsy couple of weeks and desperately needed to vent to someone other than my boyfriend.
~xo~
Normally, I try and look upon my life with an optimistic twist and not dwell on the negatives that life can throw a person's way. But lately, I can't help feeling slightly deflated. In the last two weeks, two of my four favorite cats passed away. One was killed by my dog, Beast and the other died from internal bleeding caused from a person stepping on it. As if their deaths were not enough, I don't know who stepped on my cat. All I know is that same person, came into my house uninvited, stole my Smokin' Aces dvd and a box of my friends peach cigars that had been left in my living room. Then on top of all that, my dog beast (which killed my kitten lil vester) was killed in my front yard by someone (that I have no idea who is). My boyfriend and I left my house for an hour and when we came back, my dog was dead in my front yard with knife wounds all over its body.
Beyond deaths in the family, which I've taken fairly hard (the kittens especially), my job is making me feel like a helpless prisoner. Due to the financial standing of my home right now, any money I make is desperate needed to help pay bills and purchase groceries for my family. That's something that I normally wouldn't mind at all. But because of the horrendous treatment I'm recieving in the work place (mistreatment from my bosses and coworkers, harassment from my department boss, and inconsistent hours and scheduling) all I want to do is quit and relax a little bit. I can't even consider leaving an option though, until I have another job already. The money is something I just can't go without, even if its for only a week. *sighs*
With work and death on my mind, I can't help but feel a bit overwhelmed by any other tiny bad thing in life: a long wait in traffic, a bad hair day, a small family argument or fight with my boyfriend....its all like the end of the world for me. I'm just so very stressed out and don't know how to make myself any better at all.
I have a history of depression and I'm worried that all the progress I've been able to make in the last couple of years is going to start going down the drain because of all this drama that's simply out of my control.
Sorry for the rambling, I've just had a really lowsy couple of weeks and desperately needed to vent to someone other than my boyfriend.
~xo~
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
fastjetta:
Damn!! When it rains it pours... Take a deep breathe, let it out slow, smoke a bowl, relax.
applejax:
Hey! I figured that I would wait to send your charms until I write the reply to the letter that you sent me
Is that ok?
Is that ok?