I spoke too soon! Not that im complaining...
Im such a silly girl... Im so lonely ... My heart is still devoted to my ex even though I have no intentions of ever going back to him... EVER/ NEVER!!! Deep down I believe my love for him will never die. Ill alway have fondeness towards him( regardless of what has transpired) we will forever be bonded by our son and our friendship is starting to be good again. I can list a million reasons why he doesnt deserve me. not that he wants me back.. he is content in his new match which came so easily to him before he decided to give up on me... but even in my heartbreak im glad that I have the chance to find someone better suited for me someone to treat me better... having said that...
I AM A SILLY GIRL! because my lonelyness invites others to keep me company but my heart is so careful and I guess its too soon for me months have gone by but the pain is still there.
So even when I find someone who I care about and who clearly cares about me I take the smallest reasons as deal breakers. Signs that things wont go well so i disconnect. the first guy i dated was not my type bc he is shy and very religious. makes me look like the devil hes super sweet. we met a work in the summer while i was stil with the ex and started out as just co workers we would have break for 2 hours and only worked together once a week... so i would go and watch star trek with him at his house on break and we became fast friends. about a month after my ex left me I started hanging out with him again and we would cook together and go to movies or to the bar he worked at always just friends. And then we ended up fooling around a little it was always playful he asked me tobe his girlfriend but i confessed i wasnt ready for a relationship and wanted to remain friends and that was fine for a few weeks we still would kiss once and a while... till i showed up at the bar one day and he had a hickie on his neck and my heart sank... now i can no longer trust my own feelings! even in that instant i wasnt sure if this was salt in an old wond or a fresh one. but he had made out with this other girl in a drunk state and told me he was surprised i was so upset bc I was so serious a about just being friends. but he knew that im the sort of gal that doesnt even kiss more than one boy at a time. and so i quit hanging out with him for a while we still talked on the phone we are better friends now and still talk to eachother alot hang out once and a while. its been a couple of months since everything happend and we both always complain we miss eachother. I consider him my best friend these days but have more than that reason as to why i protect myself from a romantic relationship with him.
thats i guess is to give you dear reader a background to this next shpeal...
So I met this guy before christmas and went on a few dates with him ... at first i must have scared the shyt out of him or something bc he was quick to dismiss me and then quick to ask me to reconsider bc he was too quick to dissmiss me fearing I would rip his heart out ( my words lol ) so i went on another date with him a few weeks ago and hes cute and spoils me on our dates and texts me everyday ( we live far enough where its longdistance) now he has invited on a date again tomorrow and its all meant to be a surprise so im curious to see what he has planned. I always have a good time with him and I am attracted to him. Im being extra careful with this one and he knows it and respects that lets me take the lead as to whats appropriate super respectful. my only complaint with this one (who by the by is bout 5 yrs older than I am not that age matters to me really) is he is not religious at all and is a bit arogant towards the idea of following anything you cant prove in science. silly boy.
having said all that I feel the first one in the back of my head/heart as i persu this number 2 I remember how number one cares for me and I feel like im betraying him even though we both disscussed that our friendship is whats imprtant to us and that we are both looking to date other people...
im silly
Im such a silly girl... Im so lonely ... My heart is still devoted to my ex even though I have no intentions of ever going back to him... EVER/ NEVER!!! Deep down I believe my love for him will never die. Ill alway have fondeness towards him( regardless of what has transpired) we will forever be bonded by our son and our friendship is starting to be good again. I can list a million reasons why he doesnt deserve me. not that he wants me back.. he is content in his new match which came so easily to him before he decided to give up on me... but even in my heartbreak im glad that I have the chance to find someone better suited for me someone to treat me better... having said that...
I AM A SILLY GIRL! because my lonelyness invites others to keep me company but my heart is so careful and I guess its too soon for me months have gone by but the pain is still there.
So even when I find someone who I care about and who clearly cares about me I take the smallest reasons as deal breakers. Signs that things wont go well so i disconnect. the first guy i dated was not my type bc he is shy and very religious. makes me look like the devil hes super sweet. we met a work in the summer while i was stil with the ex and started out as just co workers we would have break for 2 hours and only worked together once a week... so i would go and watch star trek with him at his house on break and we became fast friends. about a month after my ex left me I started hanging out with him again and we would cook together and go to movies or to the bar he worked at always just friends. And then we ended up fooling around a little it was always playful he asked me tobe his girlfriend but i confessed i wasnt ready for a relationship and wanted to remain friends and that was fine for a few weeks we still would kiss once and a while... till i showed up at the bar one day and he had a hickie on his neck and my heart sank... now i can no longer trust my own feelings! even in that instant i wasnt sure if this was salt in an old wond or a fresh one. but he had made out with this other girl in a drunk state and told me he was surprised i was so upset bc I was so serious a about just being friends. but he knew that im the sort of gal that doesnt even kiss more than one boy at a time. and so i quit hanging out with him for a while we still talked on the phone we are better friends now and still talk to eachother alot hang out once and a while. its been a couple of months since everything happend and we both always complain we miss eachother. I consider him my best friend these days but have more than that reason as to why i protect myself from a romantic relationship with him.
thats i guess is to give you dear reader a background to this next shpeal...
So I met this guy before christmas and went on a few dates with him ... at first i must have scared the shyt out of him or something bc he was quick to dismiss me and then quick to ask me to reconsider bc he was too quick to dissmiss me fearing I would rip his heart out ( my words lol ) so i went on another date with him a few weeks ago and hes cute and spoils me on our dates and texts me everyday ( we live far enough where its longdistance) now he has invited on a date again tomorrow and its all meant to be a surprise so im curious to see what he has planned. I always have a good time with him and I am attracted to him. Im being extra careful with this one and he knows it and respects that lets me take the lead as to whats appropriate super respectful. my only complaint with this one (who by the by is bout 5 yrs older than I am not that age matters to me really) is he is not religious at all and is a bit arogant towards the idea of following anything you cant prove in science. silly boy.
having said all that I feel the first one in the back of my head/heart as i persu this number 2 I remember how number one cares for me and I feel like im betraying him even though we both disscussed that our friendship is whats imprtant to us and that we are both looking to date other people...
im silly
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
mojomonster:
You are gorgeous and I wish you the best in finding love and happiness for you and your son.
babie_doll:
LieLock thankyou I think you hit it right. I just need to take my time XOX