In the past, about year and half or so, I went from having never done anything drug related whatsoever(hell I actually waited until I turned 21 to drink), to pretty much becoming a total pot head. I had no delusions about why I smoked so much, I'm not happy so I smoked it all out so I wouldn't think about depressing things. In particular there was a pretty harsh period where I was burning through almost half my paycheck for the stuff.
That was while my little sister went through the transition from having lived under the same roof as me to going off to college. I was immensely proud of her, but you know, with my situation of having been kicked out of college before the first day(because of TWO percent three years prior), and the fact that my folks still don't know and think I'm going off to school each day, well it put me in a dark place and smoking helped with that.
It eventually just kind of became a regular part of my nightly ritual to get blasted out of my mind and just space out in front of the tv. Well now that I don't even have a job anymore and need to start looking, I've had to cut it out, until I at least get something.
Well I've come to another realization now that I'm always sober, my life is fucking boring. I didn't mind before I started smoking because that's all I knew, and I loved it while I was smoking, cause come on, what isn't great high? Never thought I'd be that guy, but I wish I'd never started, if for no other reason than the fact that at least my nights wouldn't seem so goddamn dull.
Now I feel like this
When it used to be
all at once.
That was while my little sister went through the transition from having lived under the same roof as me to going off to college. I was immensely proud of her, but you know, with my situation of having been kicked out of college before the first day(because of TWO percent three years prior), and the fact that my folks still don't know and think I'm going off to school each day, well it put me in a dark place and smoking helped with that.
It eventually just kind of became a regular part of my nightly ritual to get blasted out of my mind and just space out in front of the tv. Well now that I don't even have a job anymore and need to start looking, I've had to cut it out, until I at least get something.
Well I've come to another realization now that I'm always sober, my life is fucking boring. I didn't mind before I started smoking because that's all I knew, and I loved it while I was smoking, cause come on, what isn't great high? Never thought I'd be that guy, but I wish I'd never started, if for no other reason than the fact that at least my nights wouldn't seem so goddamn dull.
Now I feel like this
When it used to be
all at once.