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azzura

Johannesburg

Hopeful Since 2006

Followers 132 Following 147

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Thursday Feb 23, 2006

Feb 22, 2006
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Howzit

Today my spastic colon is licking my ass all over the place which is rather cumbersome. I am flicking through the latest version of Glamour the South African version apparently what is in for this season is velvet and lace, love em both!

Yesterday I got some good news, one of my colleagues who works on the same magazines as I do may be leaving, meaning that there is a potential spot for me to work my way up into, which means more money and finally the ability to buy my own apartment which I am dying to do. I can barely stand the site of my mother at the moment all she does is complain and demand that I help her financially which I refuse to do as she helped herself to all my fathers belongings and money after he passed away and my brother and I got nothing. I don't even know if I want to continue the relationship after I leave as she is more like a child than a mother, a child that I have to constantly validate and listen to.

Other than that I am really getting into Capoeira, it's such a good work out and it requires constant eye contact which I find a little intimidating but it is an area that I need to address, it ties into my discomfort with intimacy, I find it very unnerving. In fact I would say as much as I love being social and partying my head off I have never really had very deep and honest relationships with people, even when things seem deep and meaningfull, it is normally just an illusion. Not that I mind, I love my own company and don't need to be intense with others all the time. Although I like intense when I get over the innitial phobic trigger, god I am full of seemingly incompatible drives, reminds me of Freud.

I am reading "The restaurant at the end of the universe" really enjoying it, Douglas Adams really had a unique way of percieving things as well as making people question there normal attitudes to everything, he is awesome.

Tonight I am off to Yoga, I think it's about time that I become a little more flexible.

Bye wink

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