@rambo and @charmaine asked us to discuss our pet peeves. I know I'm a bit late on this one, but I've been super busy. I have a couple things that bother me, but the one that pisses me off the most, in terms of how mad I get and how frequently it happens, is ableism.
Ableism is the systemic oppression of disabled people. From slurs, to delivery vans parking on sidewalks and drop curbs, to able bodied people using things meant for disabled people, to the fact that disabled people are much more likely to be abused than able bodied people and less likely to be believed or helped if they report, to wide spread hate crimes against people with disabilities, to Government aide people forcing us to prove our disabilities over and over before they'll help us not die, to mentally ill people being shot by police, ableism is a problem that spans our entire society.
Every day, I take public transit for 1 hr each way to and from work or an equivalent amount to social events. I aim for the priority seating, as it's more likely lined up with elevators and the legal mandate (unenforced however) that one must obey signage means I've got a better chance of getting a seat. Unfortunately, it's always filled by able bodied people (excepting extremely late evening, and even then this happens frequently). Now, if I ask for the seat, I usually get it, but I get rolled eyes or confused looks fairly commonly, despite always having my cane with me. I only rarely get turned down, but when I do, it's done aggressively, with accusations that my tone is rude (I'm usually extremely tired and in great deals of pain when this happens). It's frustrating enough dealing with able-bodied people being ignorant of my needs and using priority seating, but having someone tell me I'm not gracious enough in response to their oppression of me is rage-inducing. Most frequently, people read, fiddle with phones, occasionally glance up to see me with my cane, and then proceed to ignore me. If I'm in too much pain to ask for a seat, I don't get one. I will say, the increased signage in the TTC has improved this somewhat, but it's still only 1 in 1000 odds that someone will care that I'm unable to stand and offer a seat. I've also noticed those that spontaneously offer seats are near 100% men, and if I ask for a seat in a mixed-gender environment, it is always the men who stand.
Another annoying thing is able bodied people using elevators. I'm not talking about in tall towers where taking the stairs is not reasonable, but in malls or the subway where there's literally an escalator right there. If you have shopping or a stroller and can't take the stairs or escalator, I get it. But again, there's a hierarchy of need. Wheelchairs, then walkers, then canes and elderly, then strollers, then shoppers, and everyone else shouldn't ever bother. I don't care how tired you are from work. I'm tired too, and you're not the one who by taking the stairs is going to have to cancel plans throughout the week to make up for it. You won't notice the difference after an hour, I will after a week. As for me taking escalators, I do try, but when crowded and bumped and rushed off it causes me pretty serious joint pain. If you see someone with more need than you come up to use something that is meant for those with need, just get up or get off. It's not that complicated.
Oh, and 65 year old that clearly just went jogging, you can stop with the dagger eyes at me when I'm sitting in priority seating. The last time I was able to run was about a decade ago now, and the last time I was able to run without any pain was never.
I'm constantly waiting. Waiting for elevators, waiting to sit down finally, waiting for the bathroom stall with the bar in it, walking to a different bathroom because some dumbass decided to make a mess everywhere, waiting for someone to open doors that are unnecessarily heavy, waiting for a shuttle bus with enough space for me to get on which I generally give up on, waiting for doctors that don't even know what Ehlers Danlos Syndrome even is, waiting for test results, waiting for my limbs to work, waiting for my heart rate to go back to normal, waiting for the dizziness to stop, waiting for that person who really wanted to play sidewalk chicken to finally get the hint and go the fuck around, waiting for people to stop yelling at me, waiting for society to finally grasp that pointing at my cane and asking "What is wrong with you?" or apologizing for my existence when they find out I'm disabled is not appropriate and actually fucking mean, waiting for ODSP to decide that I can stop starving, waiting for that call that I'm hired which I know isn't coming because I brought my cane to the interview... the list goes on for ever. The least you can do is let me get on the elevator first or sit down for a second.
And don't let my cane being in shot sometimes ruin your enjoyment of my pictures! I'm sexy and my body is awesome, regardless of being a bit different.
