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azrea

Cascadia

SG Since 2014

Followers 6352 Following 149

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When it rains...

Aug 13, 2014
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Absence can be a nice thing from time to time. It gives you the feeling of longing. The desire to connect, engage, touch, socialize. My absence has not been on purpose, I assure you. As much as I wanted to shout out to all that is SG on a day to day basis, life can become... heavy at times. Difficult to express and try to stay positive. Sometimes you just need a moment to yourself, or many moments and a beer, or two. My mother use to say, when it rains, it pours. I'm not sure if what I am going through is a lesson, or just karma from a past life because, I cannot recollect any point in time where I have done someone so wrong as to be hit by what seems to be a never ending barrage of "holy fucking shit why me" moments.

I could go into specific details but I feel it's always better to remain somewhat vague in situations like these simply because I feel the lesson would not be so sweet when it hits me at the end of the tunnel, the break in the clouds, or rather, clouds in the break of this drought. I want to feel the rain on my skin. The sensation of feeling all that is wrong bounce off as quickly as a rain drop on the leaf of a tree as I sit and listen to the world breathe around me. Crackling, and swaying, and changing. Change that brings a feeling of belonging. A feeling I am quite literally sighing as deep as I can in hopes of relief at some point, preferably soon? That'd be great.

I'm one tough cookie. I'll manage, trust me on that one. But I also know uncertainty can be a good thing and a bad thing. It depends on the way you look at it. I consider myself pessimistically optimistic. I know the bad, I see it, I prepare for it, however abrupt it may happen, I deal with it. But I do not accept it. I will always be looking for the greatness after. So the bad hit, what happens next? It happened, its done, how can I move forward? How can I find a way to flip off this situation by saying you will not beat me. I will still smile. I will still laugh. And I will still live.
And with that, I say hello! I'll try to stick around a bit this time and smile for ya'll

VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
davidlopansbro:
I find dogs help, if I didn't have my dogs some days I don't know what I would do.
Aug 13, 2014
doomist:
Chin up! just remember soon you should have a fun filled day! plus maybe, a kind of cool guy come say hello :D
Aug 13, 2014

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