well well well.
great 2B back.
my podiatrist just sent me home, minus crutches!! yay!!
the fracture is healing, but it could take 6-8 more weeks to heal completely, so the cast stays on when moving about (it's one of the velcro-strap thingies, so it makes a very satisfying rrriipppp sound when taking it off).
i feel like herman munster--or at moments, like gene simmons--because the cast seems like a big, black monster boot. but a herman or gene who's lost their other boot!
on the negative side, it raises that leg up so high it makes me a bit lopsided.
and the catz think it's a scratching post.
so today is may 24.
that makes 11 motherfucking months i have have been clean and sober after 30 years of addiction. one month from today i accept my 1-year cake from narcotics anonymous, and i gotta tell ya, my eyes are welling up as i type this.
it has been a difficult and exciting and scary and safe and tumultuous and serene 11 months.
even in the highest highs (and certainly not the lowest lows) did i ever, ever imagine a life so sweet.
molly has been so supportive during all of this. last year at this time i had given her every reason in the world to just pack up and leave. but she stuck. she goes to her ala-non meetings for co-dependency and arranges all the guest speakers.
i love ya, mol.
and i have sooo many friends now. a year ago, i had almost none except the diehards who had been kept at arm's length.
ok, yeah, they are sober friends, and i have found nothing wrong with that. they are trustworthy, dependable and--most of all--they care. if they were any closer to god they would be boy scouts.
(not at all like all my former other friends, otherwise known as "dealers.")
and my other new friends: all of you here at suicide grrls! y'all have been so warm and thoughtful!
and patient!
so here's an acknowledgment to each of you who left messages on my last blog:
thank you and a big high-five to cheech, lux lisbon, babygirl, kokeshi, swindy, smuffy, marginwalker, tequilapreist, coldenginelogic, cheech (again), and thisaintnopicnic.
and to 2 new friends: niobe (fellow cheddarhead)--it's been fun playing tag with you on that thread!
and chandrajudithann: lots in common here, including living in florida, mad city and recovery. you tried twice to be my sg friend--i still don't know what went awry: i accepted your invitation on the 1st try, and it seemed to work, but the next day, there was the invite again. the 2nd time seemed to do the trick.
i am glad you weren't deterred.
and i am sooo glad all of you are my friends.
sometimes i amaze myself in my "lo-tech-ness." i just now discovered that by clicking on the "friends' stuff" button up there i can read all your blogs without clicking on each name.
would it hurt to have an sg "owner's manual?"
so now i have prolly given away the fact that putting that cool flickering profile pic of me and dr. smith was way, way beyond my capabilities.
thank heaven for molly jo---again. (and she took that picture on the upstairs porch outside our bedroom on my 3-months-clean day.)
ok, so, i will try to blog better.
even if it's lopsided.
i'll leave you today with the lyrics for all that i'm good for, by a band called "hem" from their cd rabbit songs. i never would have discovered them if not for the late, lamented wonderfalls:
leave my station where i stood
to lay for a while with you
i got shadows snapping at my tail
who say i'm no damn good
but that's just halfway true
all that i'm good for is you
you know, i play with all those strays
prowling outside your door
it's the scraps of love you throw my way
that have got me on all fours
i think it's time you knew
all that I'm good for is you
but i'll leave it behind
to lay down with you
i'll stop running wild
and doing what i used to
my whole wide world is out of hand
so crooked it leaves me cryin'
but your love is straight is narrow and
it's keeping me in line
this love will see me through
all that i'm good for is you
and i'll leave it behind
to lay down with you
i'll stop running wild
and doing what i used to
all that i'm good for is you
i love each and every one of you!
peace out
xoxoxox
great 2B back.
my podiatrist just sent me home, minus crutches!! yay!!
the fracture is healing, but it could take 6-8 more weeks to heal completely, so the cast stays on when moving about (it's one of the velcro-strap thingies, so it makes a very satisfying rrriipppp sound when taking it off).
i feel like herman munster--or at moments, like gene simmons--because the cast seems like a big, black monster boot. but a herman or gene who's lost their other boot!
on the negative side, it raises that leg up so high it makes me a bit lopsided.
and the catz think it's a scratching post.
so today is may 24.
that makes 11 motherfucking months i have have been clean and sober after 30 years of addiction. one month from today i accept my 1-year cake from narcotics anonymous, and i gotta tell ya, my eyes are welling up as i type this.
it has been a difficult and exciting and scary and safe and tumultuous and serene 11 months.
even in the highest highs (and certainly not the lowest lows) did i ever, ever imagine a life so sweet.
molly has been so supportive during all of this. last year at this time i had given her every reason in the world to just pack up and leave. but she stuck. she goes to her ala-non meetings for co-dependency and arranges all the guest speakers.
i love ya, mol.
and i have sooo many friends now. a year ago, i had almost none except the diehards who had been kept at arm's length.
ok, yeah, they are sober friends, and i have found nothing wrong with that. they are trustworthy, dependable and--most of all--they care. if they were any closer to god they would be boy scouts.
(not at all like all my former other friends, otherwise known as "dealers.")
and my other new friends: all of you here at suicide grrls! y'all have been so warm and thoughtful!
and patient!
so here's an acknowledgment to each of you who left messages on my last blog:
thank you and a big high-five to cheech, lux lisbon, babygirl, kokeshi, swindy, smuffy, marginwalker, tequilapreist, coldenginelogic, cheech (again), and thisaintnopicnic.
and to 2 new friends: niobe (fellow cheddarhead)--it's been fun playing tag with you on that thread!
and chandrajudithann: lots in common here, including living in florida, mad city and recovery. you tried twice to be my sg friend--i still don't know what went awry: i accepted your invitation on the 1st try, and it seemed to work, but the next day, there was the invite again. the 2nd time seemed to do the trick.
i am glad you weren't deterred.
and i am sooo glad all of you are my friends.
sometimes i amaze myself in my "lo-tech-ness." i just now discovered that by clicking on the "friends' stuff" button up there i can read all your blogs without clicking on each name.
would it hurt to have an sg "owner's manual?"
so now i have prolly given away the fact that putting that cool flickering profile pic of me and dr. smith was way, way beyond my capabilities.
thank heaven for molly jo---again. (and she took that picture on the upstairs porch outside our bedroom on my 3-months-clean day.)
ok, so, i will try to blog better.
even if it's lopsided.
i'll leave you today with the lyrics for all that i'm good for, by a band called "hem" from their cd rabbit songs. i never would have discovered them if not for the late, lamented wonderfalls:
leave my station where i stood
to lay for a while with you
i got shadows snapping at my tail
who say i'm no damn good
but that's just halfway true
all that i'm good for is you
you know, i play with all those strays
prowling outside your door
it's the scraps of love you throw my way
that have got me on all fours
i think it's time you knew
all that I'm good for is you
but i'll leave it behind
to lay down with you
i'll stop running wild
and doing what i used to
my whole wide world is out of hand
so crooked it leaves me cryin'
but your love is straight is narrow and
it's keeping me in line
this love will see me through
all that i'm good for is you
and i'll leave it behind
to lay down with you
i'll stop running wild
and doing what i used to
all that i'm good for is you
i love each and every one of you!
peace out
xoxoxox
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
peggy:
Wow....I'm really happy your my friend too. I am so excited for you that you are approaching the one year mark. You're a strong person for being able to do this and a true inspiration to others. 
marginwalker2002:
Congrats to you and welcome back. Living clean after so many years is a difficult but worthy road. All our support goes to you.